A good father takes time to play
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He has strong integrity
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He is someone
that is truly dedicated
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He is not
afraid to show his love
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He is a caring provider
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And he's a
kind, spiritual leader
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These are just a few ways
to describe a father's heart
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Hi, welcome to A Father's
Heart I'm your host Xavier
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and today's topic
is It's Not Too Late
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Overcoming the fear of
being in your child's life
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And with me to talk about
that today are Denry and Gordon
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How are you guys doing today?
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Doing great, real good
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So overcoming fear, a lot of
single mothers out there without
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the father next to them and a
lot of fathers do want to come
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back. But a lot of times
maybe they're afraid they don't
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know how. What can we do
to help them understand that
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it's ok to come back. Do
you really think they're afraid?
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That's what I'm actually thinkin
about. Are they really afraid
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of comin back. I don't
think they're afraid, I think
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there may be circumstances
that's keepin them from comin
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back. Or, if they're afraid it
is because they feel they're not
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adequate enough or they
feel that because I have left
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the child for so long, now
to come back in the child's life
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am I going to be
rejected by the child?
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For example, my nephew. His
father's been out of his life
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for a long time and no
matter what the mom tried to do
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the father would not
get into the child's life
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so I guess he has laid it down,
he called and my nephew was
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gonna go visit him but my
nephew said, you know what
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I don't wanna do it. So it's
not that the father might not
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might want to come
back, but he's almost 19
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so you've been out of the life
for so long so I think that is
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the fear of rejection from the
child. I think that is probably
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the issue. I think it's an
excuse. I mean, you know, yes
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there may be some fair rejection
or whatever the situation was
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with the mother but I think it's
an excuse. I had a situation
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that went down. I had a
father who is maybe in his 50s
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and his son is maybe almost
30 and same thing. He wasn't
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involved in his child's life and
he was so kind of correspondence
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was able to get in contact
with the child. And the child,
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basically the son who is
now an adult was like, you know
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was willing to try but the
father was like, no I think
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it's too late. You've done
so good without me, you know
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you don't need my in your life.
I've made a mess of my life
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you've done better with your
life. So I think they try to
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make excuses. Some of us men
try to make excuses and we don't
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want the responsibility. I
think that's what the bottom
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I don't know if it's necessarily
fear. I think we just don't want
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the responsibility that a
real taking care of the child is
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Is it because that he felt
that he has messed up his life
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so he's like I don't want to get
back in his life to mess it up
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He's done well by
himself so leave him alone
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so it might be just that, that
he doesn't want to mess it up
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But I mean fear can be
paralyzing. I know a lotta times
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when we're fearful, especially
as men, we were never afraid
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we never want to face that fear.
We'd rather discard it and say
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I just won't deal with it. But
the 'IT' they're talking about
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is your child. Maybe afraid to
come back and have to face the
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mother. Come back and face
shame. Come back and in some
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cases, or many cases, face
child support, face the court
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You know fear is a drivin factor
for many men that are missing
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in their child's life. The
fear of not having the respect
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fear of rejection, like you said
Fear comes in many different
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forms and it can be paralyzing
and it can also be a cop-out
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like we said. But, what if there
are elements of fear that drive
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these men to stay away rather
than not facing their fears
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they'd just rather
pretend that it doesn't exist
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If that father, if that
man wants to come back in the
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child's life and there's that
fear I think that the one thing
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that he needs to do is to seek
some counsel so he can get over
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that fear. There was a young
lady I was counseling with and
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her father's been out of her
life, she longs to have a father
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in her life. But he doesn't
want to come back in her life
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He left and now he just can't
see his way back in her life
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and it pains her every
time. Now he tried to come back
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but he went and did
the same thing. He left.
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And I think he did more damage
than good. So he needs to be
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fixed. Whatever the issue,
what ever he's dealing with
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he needs to get it resolved.
Go to counseling, seeking some
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counsel as to resolve that. Get
himself strong so that he can
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get back and be a positive
example in that young lady's
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life, or in a child's life.
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Once again, I really think it's
an excuse. Tryin to avoid the
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responsibility. There was
a documentary on an infamous
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gangster and he told his
story of his father in his life
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he said the only time he
remembered this one thing
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his father came picked
him up from his mother's house
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took him to a hotel, gave
him some money, left, never seen
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him again. He was 12 years old
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I think some of them just
want to avoid the responsibility
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they really do. We can
call it fear, we can call it all
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I think they just
don't want the responsibility
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or, and if you want to give
them something, some of them
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their track records or
their fathers and grandfathers
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they're just following
the example of their culture
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or the other men around them.
You know you have some cultures
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you're like man, do you read
a book or Bible or something
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you know in some cultures where
the men are just absolutely not
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involved in the children's life
and they're still married to the
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woman but they come home from
work or wherever they came from
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sometime they came home not even
from work, they're out all day
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they come home, their
interaction with the children is
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did you do your homework? No?
Brush your teeth and go to bed
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That's it, every day.
Play - that's for mom.
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Food - mom, bonding - mom
Dad - all I do is just check on
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you. Did you eat,
ok, fed, that's it.
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But if I really want to
come back in my child's life
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I will make every
effort that I can to do it.
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So yes it will be an excuse
if that father does not want to
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come back into the child's
life. But really, if the father
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realizes that the best thing
for me is to be involved in
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my child's life then you need
to first start talkin with the
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mother. Start there and once
you start talkin, opening those
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lines of communication,
then you reach out to the child
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It might be for 5
minutes or 3 minutes at first
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just to get reacquainted
and then sometimes when you get
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to that point that child will
want to know that why want you
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in my life. You need to man
up so that you can literally
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sit down and say this is
what I'm dealin with so that the
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child knows this is what
the dad is dealing with. And so
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those are the things
might be one of the reasons why
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I was saying they're just
afraid or they just don't wanna
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come clean with what they're
dealin with and why they left
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in the first place, because
that question will be asked
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by a child. Excuse me, I'm gonna
grab the pillow on this one
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because this is personal.
You know I hear you guys stories
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your father's unfortunately
deceased but your father's still
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in your life. This is real
to me. This topic is real to me
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because in my situation you know
when we were in Jamaica, you
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know he was in and out, in and
out you know, in and out but he
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didn't have any great examples
at all. I'm here now in the US
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I receive a call now and then
from him. Every once in a while
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And he's always
asking me for something.
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That's my relationship with
him. You know, I would, I would
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love to, I mean once in a
while we may talk and have a
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conversation and sometimes
I put the kids, my children
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on the phone while I'm talkin
but he's so out of touch with
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them that even my
children don't know who this is.
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I have to keep re-introducing
him to them, cause they know
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my step father and they call him
dad, they see how we interact
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but when my real father calls
me I have to re-introduce him to
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to them and sometimes you could
see, he wants to but then he
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know how to and all that and
sometimes I'm just like, just
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listen to them. Just ask them
their age, ask them what school
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they go to, you know just talk
to them. You know, ask me that
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what am I doing myself? Don't
always call to ask me for money
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and then I was helpin him
because I was tryin to hold on
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to the little bit, ok at least
he needs me so I was sending
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money and then I feel guilty
because I'm like sometimes
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there would be some hard times
especially when I was in school
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you know you've been in school,
sometimes all you got is $5 left
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sometimes and then you get
this call. Whatever you can send
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But I'm like I have children
at home, I have children at home
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that need food on the table and
all I have is enough just for
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them. I want to take care of you
but I have to take care of them
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You didn't do that for me and
like I said it's hard to say its
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complain that he was
fully absent. We moved from the
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country but for the time we were
in Jamaica or whatever, he was
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in and out. He played a
lot of hide and go seek with me
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more hidin than seekin
and now I have my own children
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I am taking care of my family.
I don't want to have this
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relationship where it's just
about you just call me for a
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handout. I want, hey tell me
about your dad, tell me about
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things you went through as
a child. I don't know none of
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those Gordon. I don't
know none of that stuff.
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Have you ever asked him?
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I asked him and it just goes
like, rumble, rumble. Yeah you
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have a sister,
yeah a sister blah, blah
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and then go back to.
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It's empty. It's empty. So
sometimes that's why I said
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I don't think it's the
whole fear thing. You guys can
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polish it up. I'm not polishing
it up. It's I don't want to be
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responsible for you. I don't
want to be responsible that's it
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Have you asked him
what he's afraid of?
00:12:10.63\00:12:12.99
No. I mean, like I said, it's
really difficult when he calls
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sometimes I really, and you can
be mad at me, the world could be
00:12:17.73\00:12:20.54
mad at me, he can be mad at
me I see his number on my phone
00:12:20.57\00:12:23.77
I see his name
and I don't respond.
00:12:23.81\00:12:26.11
And I'm scared because
when I'm hearing your story now
00:12:27.11\00:12:30.08
of when, because my dad
has, he does have diabetes
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But two things, I don't want to
answer and say I don't have the
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money because sometimes I don't
and then second I don't want
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just that's it, that's the
only time we have a relationship
00:12:46.06\00:12:49.30
So I rather
sometimes just not answer
00:12:49.33\00:12:51.00
Maybe you need to tell him that
00:12:51.03\00:12:52.67
You just need to straight up
I've tried, I've tried, I can't
00:12:52.70\00:12:56.10
muster it. I even talked to
my counselor about it, I can't
00:12:56.14\00:12:59.77
muster it. It can't come out.
Because I still want something
00:12:59.81\00:13:05.81
and this is all I get, So I'm
like ok I'll just settle with it
00:13:05.85\00:13:09.85
I'll just settle with
it. But then at the same time
00:13:11.05\00:13:13.72
he needs help sometimes and
I can't sometimes but sometimes
00:13:13.76\00:13:18.53
I can and then I say, man
I can do this for my children
00:13:18.56\00:13:21.36
my children, my wife. I'm
not trying to be selfish and
00:13:21.40\00:13:24.73
understand what I'm sayin.
It hurts. It really does hurt
00:13:25.87\00:13:29.40
I really does hurt when
you don't have your father
00:13:29.44\00:13:33.58
you see what I'm sayin,
when you don't have your father
00:13:34.98\00:13:37.05
this thing hurts. No one
can take his place. I have my
00:13:37.08\00:13:40.82
stepfather, I thank God for
him. He came in but he's not my
00:13:40.85\00:13:44.85
biological father. He doesn't
look like me. When I look in
00:13:44.89\00:13:48.76
the mirror I see my dad,
I don't see my stepfather
00:13:48.79\00:13:51.96
When I look at pictures I see
my dad. There are things goin
00:13:53.13\00:13:56.16
on in me inside that I would
like to know did that go on with
00:13:56.20\00:14:00.77
you too? So this stuff hurts
00:14:00.80\00:14:03.41
So when fathers are absent in
their children's lives whether
00:14:03.81\00:14:08.01
because it's a macho thing
not to be involved or you scared
00:14:08.04\00:14:13.01
or you and the baby
mother, whatever the situation
00:14:13.05\00:14:16.85
you are hurtin a child and some
of us we move on with our lives
00:14:16.89\00:14:22.46
let me stop, I'm gettin
upset about it, I really am
00:14:22.49\00:14:26.49
Really I'm gettin
upset, it hurts man
00:14:27.50\00:14:30.37
It really hurts.
Yeah, I understand
00:14:30.40\00:14:34.04
I think you know, a lot of
times it's definitely a cop out
00:14:35.00\00:14:38.97
and I think you we need
to look at the fact that
00:14:39.01\00:14:42.98
a lot of men use fear, and
because we're not taught to
00:14:43.01\00:14:46.28
deal with fear we just hurt
our children. We choose to say
00:14:46.31\00:14:52.75
I'm afraid, I'm scared
instead of sayin I need help
00:14:52.79\00:14:57.79
I don't know how to get back in
my child's life, please help me
00:14:57.83\00:15:01.13
we just say you know I won't do
it at all, not knowing that our
00:15:01.16\00:15:04.90
child, whether child or
grown man is still waiting
00:15:04.93\00:15:08.50
these children grow up, become
men and women and are still
00:15:08.54\00:15:13.61
waiting for that moment. There
are children out there that
00:15:13.64\00:15:18.38
become, that grow up and
become adults and then something
00:15:18.41\00:15:22.25
happens and that
chance never comes.
00:15:22.28\00:15:26.79
And that's the most selfish
thing a parent could ever do
00:15:27.06\00:15:30.89
a child's father
could ever do to a child.
00:15:30.93\00:15:33.60
I understand, a lot of times,
yes fear is a deciding factor
00:15:34.36\00:15:38.47
for a lot of people. I mean
when we get lost and ask for
00:15:38.50\00:15:42.14
directions a lot of times we're
afraid to ask. That's a form of
00:15:42.17\00:15:45.51
fear and we don't because
our ego, same thing with fathers
00:15:45.54\00:15:48.38
that are absent. They feel lost
some of them just don't wanna be
00:15:48.41\00:15:52.85
but the ones that try to be
they let that fear, whatever
00:15:53.65\00:15:57.92
you want to call it overpower
them and then just don't show up
00:15:57.95\00:16:01.06
and eventually they never,
God forbid, eventually that's
00:16:01.86\00:16:06.29
they may never see their
child again. And it's for what?
00:16:06.33\00:16:09.00
Like I said early on that father
needs to get help. There is
00:16:09.76\00:16:17.77
something that is blockin
that whatever that relation,
00:16:17.81\00:16:22.04
reachin back, reachin
out to that child and maybe
00:16:22.08\00:16:26.01
that father, some of them
just have children too early
00:16:26.05\00:16:30.09
at an early age and have never
dealt with whatever's goin on
00:16:30.12\00:16:34.72
inside of them. I think
that's where it needs to start
00:16:34.76\00:16:37.46
They need to be able to
deal with what's goin on inside
00:16:37.49\00:16:39.93
of them before they can
even reach out to create a
00:16:39.96\00:16:43.33
relationship. Because
your father might reach out and
00:16:43.37\00:16:47.00
to start that relationship
but because he's messed up
00:16:47.04\00:16:50.37
he might mess you up more
because of some of the things
00:16:50.41\00:16:54.18
that he would say. If he has
not dealt with what he is dealin
00:16:54.21\00:16:57.78
what he's facin, I've had a
lot of people who had the same
00:16:57.81\00:17:05.05
situation where their fathers
are not comin in their lives or
00:17:05.09\00:17:09.79
for whatever reason and the
one thing that I, that we keep
00:17:09.82\00:17:13.60
comin back to is the fact that
whenever that father re-enters
00:17:13.63\00:17:18.40
that person's life
they leave more scars
00:17:18.43\00:17:24.64
because they
have not been healed.
00:17:24.67\00:17:26.68
You know I hear what you've been
saying and I'm really tryin to
00:17:26.71\00:17:30.45
hold it, this is really hard.
Some of them they went out of
00:17:30.48\00:17:37.65
the, either step out of
the grounds of marriage or
00:17:37.69\00:17:41.16
as teenagers or whatever
not bein faithful to God,
00:17:41.19\00:17:44.63
livin in sin, have
a child out of wedlock
00:17:44.66\00:17:47.36
And some of them do try
and some of them don't whatever
00:17:47.40\00:17:49.90
But I'm talkin about the fathers
and I'm speakin against my
00:17:49.93\00:17:54.84
filthy culture as a West
Indian and as a Black man
00:17:54.87\00:17:58.01
I'm talkin about the fathers
who just go and have children
00:17:58.04\00:18:02.04
for one house and move to
the next house and have children
00:18:02.08\00:18:04.65
and move to the next house and
you don't invest nothing in your
00:18:04.68\00:18:07.52
child's life. And then when life
turns on you and you're hurt
00:18:07.55\00:18:13.49
now you want help from them?
00:18:14.56\00:18:17.46
I'll never forget Gordon,
this whole calling someone Daddy
00:18:17.49\00:18:23.20
for me, when my stepfather
called me son, that meant the
00:18:23.23\00:18:28.50
world to me, it changed
my world. When I was younger
00:18:28.54\00:18:32.17
I was put in a position
that I resent on both sides
00:18:32.21\00:18:38.51
my mother told me to
call my stepfather Dad
00:18:38.55\00:18:42.68
Daddy whatever because my
sister was about to be born
00:18:42.72\00:18:46.79
and so that she can hear
me calling him Daddy, right
00:18:46.82\00:18:51.26
and be used to it and I
was like, he's not my dad
00:18:51.29\00:18:54.96
then I go to Jamaica
to visit my real father
00:18:55.66\00:18:59.23
who's not been in my life
00:18:59.27\00:19:02.07
and now this man is comin in
my life; my real father's not
00:19:02.10\00:19:06.17
been in my life and I
remember I called him his name
00:19:06.21\00:19:09.58
he was walking, we were at
my great grandmother's funeral
00:19:11.75\00:19:13.98
he was walking, he
turned towards me and told me
00:19:14.02\00:19:16.38
don't you ever call me by
my name, you call me daddy
00:19:16.42\00:19:19.02
But I'm saying to
myself you didn't earn that
00:19:19.89\00:19:22.49
You didn't earn that. Now
my stepfather after years of me
00:19:23.46\00:19:28.26
givin him a hard time, we
both back and forth, whatever
00:19:28.30\00:19:30.40
he neglected me and you know a
hard time he's earned that title
00:19:30.43\00:19:33.64
I can call him
daddy because he was there
00:19:34.50\00:19:38.57
he wasn't perfect, no. But
he was there but I can't call my
00:19:38.61\00:19:42.41
father my dad. I can't. It's
not personal. Yeah I call him
00:19:42.44\00:19:46.98
my father cause that's
biological, that's his title
00:19:47.02\00:19:49.28
you brought me into this
world but I can't call you daddy
00:19:49.32\00:19:53.12
because you weren't daddy
00:19:54.59\00:19:58.33
This guy, he's
daddy. You're father.
00:19:58.36\00:20:01.56
You're father and I see when
you read in the Scripture why
00:20:01.60\00:20:05.17
Romans 8 says we can call
God both daddy which is Abba
00:20:05.20\00:20:11.97
and father because
He deserves both of them
00:20:12.91\00:20:16.34
He was personal, he was down
there. You ever see your child
00:20:17.35\00:20:22.12
cry daddy, daddy. It's personal
and when your child wants
00:20:22.15\00:20:27.56
to brag and tell everybody
that's my father you know,
00:20:27.59\00:20:29.82
that's my father. So God
the Father has deserved that
00:20:29.86\00:20:34.76
and He, I know He'll heal my
heart and for those young men
00:20:35.36\00:20:39.13
and young ladies out there whose
father just went from, I have a
00:20:39.17\00:20:42.80
cousin whose father has 11
children. I have a friend whose
00:20:42.84\00:20:48.04
father has 30 some
children, for what?
00:20:48.08\00:20:51.35
So for those children whose
father was goin from house to
00:20:52.68\00:20:58.32
house and never was involved
in the child, you have a Father
00:20:58.35\00:21:02.42
and you have a Daddy. And He's
God in heaven, the same Father
00:21:02.46\00:21:07.26
that Jesus had and
trust me there's no joy
00:21:07.30\00:21:12.40
more sweeter than
having him in your life.
00:21:12.43\00:21:15.24
I like what you said though,
culture. Culture, It's sad
00:21:15.27\00:21:19.87
that we've created
this epidemic into a culture
00:21:19.91\00:21:23.85
My wife, her
father's not in her life.
00:21:23.88\00:21:28.65
He's somewhere we
just don't know where.
00:21:29.58\00:21:32.45
You know I'm old fashioned,
I wanted to ask for her hand in
00:21:33.25\00:21:35.56
marriage and ask his permission
00:21:35.59\00:21:37.43
Even the government probably
can't find him, he's so MIA
00:21:38.76\00:21:41.43
he's Missing In Action.
And he's out there having kids
00:21:41.46\00:21:47.54
and he's old and my wife you
know, I see what it does to her
00:21:47.57\00:21:53.17
even though I love her,
she's a strong woman, I know
00:21:53.21\00:21:56.91
and I see what it does to her
and it angers me, it really does
00:21:56.95\00:22:03.15
How can you bring yourself
to procreate and leave a wake
00:22:03.95\00:22:10.46
of destruction and call yourself
a man and a father. You're not
00:22:10.49\00:22:16.00
a father. You're just a machine
that's out there pro-creating
00:22:16.03\00:22:19.97
You know I think that's one of
the things we need to deal with
00:22:21.17\00:22:24.97
as men who either come from
that background or have somebody
00:22:25.01\00:22:28.74
cause I've seen that in my own
family. My mom told me you know
00:22:28.78\00:22:33.38
the day I did something like
that's the day she'd take me
00:22:33.42\00:22:35.88
out of this world. You know,
we we need to, as men deal with
00:22:35.92\00:22:40.26
those and the anger.
00:22:40.29\00:22:41.62
And they treated us Gordon
as though we were notches on
00:22:42.29\00:22:46.83
their belt. And they'd go around
and the thing about, the reason
00:22:46.86\00:22:51.53
why I notice because as a
young teenager I wanted to
00:22:51.57\00:22:54.84
do that because all the
men in my family were doin that
00:22:54.87\00:22:58.91
because of the culture, culture.
So when I was about 10-12 years
00:22:58.94\00:23:04.38
old and one of my uncles
had a child at 16, I was like
00:23:04.41\00:23:07.32
Yes! When I get 16 I'm
gonna have a child but then
00:23:07.35\00:23:10.52
the reality, I had a
breakdown, my step dad and I
00:23:10.55\00:23:13.46
and I said, uh uh I don't
want nobody else raisin my child
00:23:13.49\00:23:17.09
and it's the Lord who smacked
me on the back of my head
00:23:18.23\00:23:20.73
and said, uh uh, Enough. We're
not gonna keep these generations
00:23:20.76\00:23:25.60
cycle and cycle. Uh
uh. I need you to stop it.
00:23:25.63\00:23:30.21
I need you to demonstrate now
and so we waited until we got
00:23:30.24\00:23:34.14
married and we had our
children after we were married
00:23:34.18\00:23:37.31
and it's a joy
to go home to them.
00:23:37.35\00:23:40.02
It's a joy. I long to see
them and it's a joy to go home
00:23:40.52\00:23:45.29
to my children. But this is
not only a West Indian culture
00:23:45.32\00:23:49.59
it's the American
culture, it's the world culture
00:23:49.62\00:23:52.29
Everybody. Where men just have
these notches on their belts
00:23:52.33\00:23:56.26
and then the children are
left to face the repercussions
00:23:56.30\00:24:01.74
of the mess but on the
second hand of this whole issue
00:24:01.77\00:24:10.01
how does that child react when
that father wants to come back
00:24:11.15\00:24:14.78
in their life. That child
needs to be open to receive that
00:24:14.82\00:24:19.79
father if the father
wants to come back in their life
00:24:19.82\00:24:22.79
No matter if they
messed up, messed up real bad
00:24:22.82\00:24:26.09
You know in my, people that I
know, I don't want to call names
00:24:26.13\00:24:33.20
people that I know here, taking
care of the father who didn't
00:24:33.84\00:24:40.24
take care of them,
now in that old age
00:24:40.28\00:24:45.18
and it's that gotta take care
of the father and to find out
00:24:45.21\00:24:48.92
that not only are they
taking care of the father
00:24:48.95\00:24:52.55
them and some others,
but somebody who they thought
00:24:52.59\00:24:59.23
was a family
member is a brother.
00:24:59.26\00:25:07.10
So there's all kinds of
stuff that's goin on in homes
00:25:07.94\00:25:12.34
but sometimes God will allow
this thing to come full circle
00:25:12.37\00:25:17.45
Sittin in your lap, your father
is callin you when he needs you
00:25:17.91\00:25:20.85
for help. How're you
gonna respond to that?
00:25:20.88\00:25:24.59
Yes it's hurtful, yes
it's hard, yes it's difficult
00:25:25.42\00:25:29.39
but how does God
expect you to respond to that?
00:25:29.42\00:25:31.99
I see how my wife
responds to stuff.
00:25:33.33\00:25:35.96
She's taking care of her dad
00:25:36.00\00:25:39.33
So I know it's possible but
you've got to get to that point
00:25:41.57\00:25:45.37
But the thing is too again, you
can't wait till it's too late
00:25:46.07\00:25:50.25
True. That's the problem.
Waiting till it's too late
00:25:50.28\00:25:53.72
so either the child or
children die or the father dies
00:25:53.75\00:25:57.49
We're waiting till it's too late
so even if the father doesn't
00:25:58.05\00:26:02.79
step up, as a man of God why
don't we, as much as it's gonna
00:26:02.82\00:26:07.66
hurt, but if my God,
my Jesus took 3 nails and
00:26:07.70\00:26:13.87
a crown of thorns we need
to try our hardest to reach out
00:26:13.90\00:26:19.47
And if my God and your God
and your God can embrace us when
00:26:19.51\00:26:25.65
we mess up what are we to do
when somebody else messes up?
00:26:25.68\00:26:32.99
We've got to meet them
with grace, the same grace
00:26:33.82\00:26:38.26
that our God extends to
us. We're gonna make mistakes
00:26:38.29\00:26:43.03
People are gonna mess up
but I think when they're tryin
00:26:43.06\00:26:46.00
to come back, in whatever way,
we need to be able to embrace
00:26:46.03\00:26:50.11
them. We need to
embrace them with love
00:26:50.14\00:26:53.14
Thank you guys. This is a
hard hitting topic. Thank you
00:26:53.71\00:26:57.65
Thank you. We definitely
gotta pick it up again
00:26:57.68\00:27:01.12
To our viewers out
there, if you have any questions
00:27:02.02\00:27:05.25
send them in to AFH@3ABN.ORG
00:27:05.29\00:27:08.49
Again, AFH@3ABN.ORG
00:27:09.46\00:27:11.49
But it doesn't matter whether
you call it fear, cop out
00:27:11.53\00:27:14.96
an excuse, fear drives
sometimes people to do nothing
00:27:15.00\00:27:20.17
do not let the fear of
coming back in your child's life
00:27:21.10\00:27:25.11
overpower you. God says He does
not give us the spirit of fear
00:27:25.14\00:27:29.28
and even if you don't serve
God overcome your fear and find
00:27:29.31\00:27:35.72
your child. Be in
their life. It's not too late
00:27:35.75\00:27:39.45
The only time it's going to
be too late is when you or them
00:27:39.49\00:27:43.93
are in the grave and by
then there's nothing you can do
00:27:43.96\00:27:47.16
about it. So please,
please work on it, overcome it
00:27:47.20\00:27:52.60
work through it. You can do
it Find a resource to help you
00:27:52.63\00:27:57.01
But do not let it be too late
00:27:57.04\00:28:00.48