A good father takes time to play 00:00:01.36\00:00:03.53 He has strong integrity 00:00:05.43\00:00:07.00 He is someone that is truly dedicated 00:00:07.74\00:00:09.97 He is not afraid to show his love 00:00:12.04\00:00:13.68 He is a caring provider 00:00:16.11\00:00:17.65 And, he is a kind spiritual leader. 00:00:19.85\00:00:22.28 These are just a few ways to describe a father's heart 00:00:22.88\00:00:26.19 Hi, welcome to A Father's Heart. My name is Xavier and I'll be 00:00:29.99\00:00:32.79 your host today. And we're talking about a topic today 00:00:32.83\00:00:35.36 that most people don't talk about or don't even know 00:00:35.40\00:00:37.43 anything about it. It is called Into the Womb 00:00:37.47\00:00:39.80 A father's connection starts from the very beginning 00:00:39.83\00:00:43.04 from the very early stages of the baby being formed 00:00:43.07\00:00:47.24 And today, to talk about that with me is Denry and Gordon 00:00:47.28\00:00:51.51 Welcome guys, how're you doing today? 00:00:51.88\00:00:53.72 Doing well, doing well. Thanks for having us once again man 00:00:53.75\00:00:56.25 Hey, no problem. So most people don't know and I learned 00:00:56.28\00:01:00.06 about this while I was in seminary that a connection 00:01:00.09\00:01:03.79 a father has with a child actually starts from the very 00:01:03.83\00:01:07.13 beginning, from the womb, inside. 00:01:07.16\00:01:09.96 Most, most parents, most fathers think that their connection 00:01:10.40\00:01:13.60 is developed after the baby is born and they're there, you know 00:01:13.64\00:01:16.97 everything else but actually what's called in-utero rejection 00:01:17.01\00:01:21.58 happens from the womb. A rejection from the father 00:01:21.61\00:01:25.18 happens from the womb. What do you guys know about that? 00:01:25.21\00:01:28.18 We would like to say ok, yeah it just starts you know from 00:01:33.36\00:01:37.26 the first time you change the diaper. That's the first time 00:01:37.29\00:01:40.13 you bond but you are right cause even Jeremiah talks about it 00:01:40.16\00:01:43.90 before you were formed, chapter 1, God knew us 00:01:43.93\00:01:48.07 So there was some interaction before the beginning 00:01:48.77\00:01:52.91 Now that's God, spiritual level, of course 00:01:52.94\00:01:55.61 you know thousands of years before we were even made 00:01:55.64\00:01:59.91 He already had a plan for us but I've read from articles 00:01:59.95\00:02:04.62 when we were having our first child one of the things they're 00:02:04.65\00:02:07.39 saying for fathers to talk to the child in the womb. 00:02:07.42\00:02:10.99 The child always hears the mother, even experiences the 00:02:11.03\00:02:14.93 mother's emotions. But talk to the child. When you talk to the 00:02:14.96\00:02:19.97 child they hear this, you know most men, most of us have this 00:02:20.00\00:02:23.24 bass voice so you hear that boom, boom whatever they hear 00:02:23.27\00:02:27.88 in there and so they live for a certain connection. They already 00:02:27.91\00:02:31.91 start, there's a difference between mom's voice 00:02:31.95\00:02:35.32 and there's a difference between yours 00:02:35.35\00:02:37.85 So there's value and importance in starting before birth 00:02:37.89\00:02:42.26 Your rejection, it causes a child to, according to some 00:02:43.22\00:02:47.83 studies to grow up to be alcoholic. 00:02:47.86\00:02:50.80 It causes a lot of problems when the child is not, the bond is 00:02:50.83\00:02:55.20 begun in the womb with the father. And so it leads to a 00:02:55.24\00:03:00.71 whole lot of problems and that's one reason for me I used to talk 00:03:00.74\00:03:06.31 I had great pleasure in just talking to my son and daughter 00:03:06.35\00:03:10.12 I put my mouth on my wife's tummy and just singing to them 00:03:10.15\00:03:16.83 cause I wanted them to be singers so I was singing 00:03:16.86\00:03:20.86 I sang to them and we played music, it's very important to 00:03:21.43\00:03:25.60 for that connection to start. 00:03:25.63\00:03:27.20 And I think that's a good topic an area I need to search more 00:03:27.24\00:03:31.91 because we're not familiar with any in-utero rejection 00:03:31.94\00:03:35.04 we're not familiar with, because who studies that you know 00:03:35.08\00:03:38.25 we know it's an egg, it's in there and it grows into a baby 00:03:38.28\00:03:43.42 but we're taught that fathers play with the kids, don't really 00:03:43.45\00:03:46.79 talk to the kids that much. For me it was different you know 00:03:46.82\00:03:50.29 my 4-year old, I never got the pleasure of being there for the 00:03:50.33\00:03:54.40 growth, for her first kick in the womb, anything like that, I 00:03:54.43\00:03:58.63 through series of circumstances the divorce happened before 00:03:58.67\00:04:03.00 I was able to be there and I resented that. 00:04:03.04\00:04:06.44 And my wife now, when we had our baby I thought it was weird 00:04:08.01\00:04:12.68 I'm like I'm talking to this child who probably has no ears 00:04:12.71\00:04:17.32 it's just a pile of ooze in the womb but I kept thinking about 00:04:18.29\00:04:22.52 you know, the bonding process and as our child grew in the 00:04:22.56\00:04:27.00 womb I started talking to her more and when she started 00:04:27.03\00:04:30.60 getting all reckless and then you know it seems like the kids 00:04:30.63\00:04:33.54 like to throw a party in the womb at night, they're not 00:04:33.57\00:04:36.37 asleep and they just want to party on and kick and do all 00:04:36.40\00:04:39.34 kinds of crazy, keeping mom awake 00:04:39.37\00:04:41.34 so I started talking to her in the womb and pretty soon the 00:04:41.38\00:04:46.51 kicking stopped. You know there is something to it cause it goes 00:04:46.55\00:04:48.85 along not with just your voice, obviously your walk with God 00:04:48.88\00:04:52.75 and so like you said, the connection you're building 00:04:52.79\00:04:55.36 you know the deep voice, it just brings peace and then I've seen 00:04:55.39\00:05:00.86 the after effect when she came out of the womb, she smiled 00:05:00.90\00:05:04.90 every time automatically she knows my voice. It's like 00:05:04.93\00:05:07.24 reminds me of where Jesus says my sheep know my voice 00:05:07.27\00:05:10.11 and they follow me. The child gets to know the father's voice 00:05:10.14\00:05:13.98 something beautiful that happens You know for me personally 00:05:14.01\00:05:19.41 and two sides, when I was uh, my, our second child 00:05:19.45\00:05:24.42 I even realized similar to what you're saying about the movement 00:05:24.45\00:05:29.39 when he started kicking and even when he was almost 9 months 00:05:29.42\00:05:35.36 when you can just see every movement they make 00:05:35.40\00:05:38.90 I would literally play this game you know I would go on one side 00:05:38.93\00:05:43.10 and talk and he would literally move over to that side, even 00:05:43.14\00:05:48.98 with my daughter too when she was in the womb like they would 00:05:49.01\00:05:52.11 move towards the voice. I'd go on this side and they would move 00:05:52.15\00:05:58.19 to the voice so there is that bond and a connection. They even 00:05:58.22\00:06:01.72 start playing with you even before they come out 00:06:01.76\00:06:06.80 It's a beautiful bond. And it's real 00:06:06.83\00:06:11.20 I would come home and soon as I walk in the door my wife's 00:06:11.23\00:06:16.20 there and I say hi and go and hug her or something and the 00:06:16.24\00:06:20.94 child would just be moving happy that daddy is here 00:06:20.98\00:06:25.18 Both of mine did this so I know there's something that is very 00:06:25.21\00:06:29.85 important with making that connection early even when the 00:06:29.88\00:06:33.15 child comes out so the child recognizes the voice, recognizes 00:06:33.19\00:06:36.69 that the father is there so it's an important thing. 00:06:36.73\00:06:39.43 Now I said two examples, first example is more fun loving 00:06:39.46\00:06:45.93 because that's me now after God's grace came into my life 00:06:45.97\00:06:50.57 you know, towards my pregnant wife. But my story according to 00:06:50.61\00:06:57.78 my mother's report it wasn't so. And this is why I'm an advocate 00:06:57.81\00:07:04.19 and a support for young men and young ladies to wait until 00:07:04.22\00:07:08.62 they're married so you can have that home, that nest for your 00:07:08.66\00:07:16.56 child. My situation we were raised in a conservative home 00:07:16.60\00:07:22.67 my grandmother was the founder of a church and my mother became 00:07:22.70\00:07:30.11 pregnant. They didn't talk about sex in the home because 00:07:30.15\00:07:34.92 it was just not a topic to talk about. 00:07:34.95\00:07:37.65 And so my mother learned the hard way. 00:07:38.45\00:07:40.72 By experiencing it. She became pregnant. 00:07:40.76\00:07:43.86 Now your mother's the founder of a church how do you go and tell 00:07:44.69\00:07:48.03 others, Oh I'm pregnant at 19 years old. 00:07:48.06\00:07:51.10 And so my mother, based on her story and the stories of my aunt 00:07:51.80\00:07:56.40 and everyone, she hid the pregnancy a long time 00:07:56.44\00:08:00.31 And then when I got a little bit big she even sometimes tried 00:08:01.14\00:08:04.25 I love my mother, I love her, I love her. She tried to do 00:08:04.28\00:08:10.12 things to kind of abort, a natural abortion 00:08:10.15\00:08:14.69 because of the shame when you're in such a strict environment 00:08:15.76\00:08:20.23 the shame that you get. Come on a lot of times some churches or 00:08:20.26\00:08:25.10 some cultures or whatever you get pregnant out of wedlock 00:08:25.13\00:08:29.67 you get disfellowshipped, not even just that you gonna get 00:08:29.70\00:08:33.31 scorned for the rest of your life, your kid is going to be 00:08:33.34\00:08:36.68 called names and so she was afraid of that. And so because 00:08:36.71\00:08:41.05 she was afraid of that, even like, I was talking to 00:08:41.08\00:08:44.12 psychologists, I had to talk to a counselor about it cause 00:08:44.15\00:08:46.05 I had some rejection issues between my wife and I 00:08:46.09\00:08:48.96 you know I was like Babe I like a hug, why are you always needy 00:08:48.99\00:08:53.13 she would say to me. Why are you so needy? And we had marital 00:08:53.16\00:08:56.73 counseling and the psychologist would bring it out 00:08:56.77\00:09:00.04 ask me these questions like How was your childhood? 00:09:00.07\00:09:02.27 From what you knew? I wasn't born in, I explained based on 00:09:03.17\00:09:06.54 the story that they told me. Because of the rejection 00:09:06.57\00:09:09.91 then dad wasn't around, so there was no base 00:09:09.94\00:09:13.45 there was no comforting voice at night time. There was no one 00:09:13.48\00:09:18.82 to say Oh little one is ok 00:09:18.85\00:09:21.09 And so my wife and I, we have, I have rejection issues. 00:09:21.12\00:09:25.63 I always feel like Oh I'm not wanted 00:09:25.66\00:09:28.16 And so because of my experience in the womb 00:09:29.90\00:09:33.54 and then when she finally told my grandmother after months 00:09:33.57\00:09:38.71 it was like a relief for her but yet at the same time she was 00:09:40.41\00:09:44.18 like, ok what am I going to do? 00:09:44.21\00:09:46.82 How am I going to take care of this child? 00:09:46.85\00:09:49.72 By myself and all. So it's a stress that now I have 00:09:49.75\00:09:56.19 from a situation that I was not even involved in. 00:09:56.79\00:10:01.56 I didn't even start because it was not in a positive, spiritual 00:10:01.60\00:10:08.97 loving, nurturing, just like an egg you know 00:10:09.00\00:10:11.94 chickens have eggs all the time and birds have eggs but if the 00:10:14.41\00:10:17.51 egg is in the nest it's more likely to what? survive 00:10:17.55\00:10:21.85 and become a bird. But if the egg is in the refrigerator 00:10:21.88\00:10:25.75 it's done before it even had a chance 00:10:27.36\00:10:29.86 And so some of these kids unfortunately 00:10:30.73\00:10:35.43 are done before they have a chance. But thank God 00:10:35.46\00:10:38.43 for Jesus Christ that even a frozen egg like who I was 00:10:39.13\00:10:44.17 He brought life out of that 00:10:45.04\00:10:48.24 If your father and mother forsake you the Lord will 00:10:49.64\00:10:51.51 take care of you, yeah 00:10:51.55\00:10:53.18 I think about that because I don't, I can't even think about 00:10:53.95\00:10:57.59 why anybody would want to miss those moments 00:10:57.62\00:11:00.99 Moments that you never get back Yes you may go out and have sex 00:11:01.76\00:11:05.93 with a bunch of women and have kids by a bunch of women 00:11:05.96\00:11:08.13 but you don't get to live and cherish the first kick 00:11:08.16\00:11:12.53 The first time you hear the heart beat 00:11:12.57\00:11:14.47 and now you're just breeding for breeding's sake 00:11:14.50\00:11:18.14 You're sending out innocent lives for no reason 00:11:18.17\00:11:20.98 and you know it does happen and there's people that are 00:11:21.01\00:11:26.15 born out of wedlock and that's why again I agree with you 00:11:26.18\00:11:29.02 Denry there's such an importance behind being married and having 00:11:29.05\00:11:33.72 sexual relations and there's such an importance that the 00:11:33.76\00:11:36.46 father, even though culturally, societally may portray 00:11:36.49\00:11:40.66 differently, there's an importance as to the father 00:11:40.70\00:11:43.33 what they play in the birth process, in the creation process 00:11:43.37\00:11:48.04 essentially. You know we've been given a gift. 00:11:48.07\00:11:50.84 Only God is the creator and yet He chose to impart part of His 00:11:50.87\00:11:56.48 ability with us by allowing us to reproduce, procreate 00:11:56.51\00:12:04.62 and be able to bring it to this world a life, human life 00:12:04.65\00:12:09.89 That is not something to be taken lightly 00:12:09.92\00:12:12.33 And in-utero rejection, when you reject your child from the womb 00:12:12.36\00:12:16.93 as you said you know, it just sends a shock wave 00:12:16.97\00:12:20.24 that may not be seen then but it will be seen in the future 00:12:20.27\00:12:24.21 Psychologists are studying that a lot more now, a lot more than 00:12:24.24\00:12:27.54 they were before because there's traits and inhabits and things 00:12:27.58\00:12:32.41 that they do that they don't know where it comes from 00:12:32.45\00:12:34.88 they don't know what they do to cope. There's just little things 00:12:34.92\00:12:38.19 that unconsciously they're doing that they have no idea 00:12:38.22\00:12:40.59 as to why and the answer is, in the very beginning, the very 00:12:40.62\00:12:45.39 beginning because we play such a vital role in the growth 00:12:45.43\00:12:49.00 process and in their cognitive development from the womb 00:12:49.03\00:12:54.30 that's why I don't agree with abortion, it's life. 00:12:55.20\00:12:59.27 It's life. There's life. And we're murdering these kids 00:13:00.04\00:13:04.38 simply because we don't want to take responsibility 00:13:04.41\00:13:08.32 and we reject them and either let them grow 00:13:08.85\00:13:11.59 or just reject them and have them killed 00:13:11.62\00:13:13.89 I don't think we get the magnitude and the, like I said 00:13:14.62\00:13:18.73 the only thing I can refer to is Jeremiah 1 00:13:18.76\00:13:22.06 God had to let Jeremiah know this thing you and I started 00:13:22.86\00:13:28.40 in the womb. For me it started before the womb 00:13:28.44\00:13:32.21 but you didn't start to get a life until like you said 00:13:32.24\00:13:34.61 in the womb. It started there. And sometimes rejection 00:13:34.64\00:13:40.08 if the father is not there or whatever, but I can 00:13:40.12\00:13:43.99 only imagine the environment where a woman is being 00:13:44.02\00:13:47.92 in a domestic violence situation 00:13:47.96\00:13:50.83 and she's pregnant with your child 00:13:50.86\00:13:54.26 and you are abusing her 00:13:54.30\00:13:57.63 and if you don't mind me getting graphic, dragging her outside 00:13:58.50\00:14:02.80 you know, kicking her, all these situations 00:14:02.84\00:14:05.37 and the child is in there 00:14:05.41\00:14:07.64 sometimes we create monsters because of this 00:14:09.18\00:14:11.98 because of the environment just as the mother feeds the child 00:14:12.01\00:14:16.32 while the child is in the womb 00:14:16.35\00:14:17.89 and the child gets the nourishment 00:14:17.92\00:14:19.75 if the environment also affects the child. I had a client 00:14:19.79\00:14:24.99 where the environment did affect the child 00:14:25.03\00:14:26.96 he became very, he always had anger and rage 00:14:27.00\00:14:30.07 even as a child and all this come to find out 00:14:30.10\00:14:33.34 in the background, his mother was abused by the father 00:14:33.37\00:14:39.67 while she was pregnant with him 00:14:39.71\00:14:41.68 So even in this environment in the womb 00:14:42.58\00:14:45.11 all he knew was violence 00:14:45.15\00:14:46.85 So if we're not cautious of how we take care of ministering to 00:14:48.45\00:14:53.29 to these children while they're in the womb 00:14:53.32\00:14:55.09 we could make the next monster, the next serial killer 00:14:55.12\00:14:59.63 before they even get a chance 00:14:59.66\00:15:01.96 but Thank God, once again, for Jesus Christ 00:15:02.90\00:15:06.20 for He can take a monster out of the womb 00:15:06.23\00:15:09.27 and make that monster into His servant, into a fisher of men 00:15:09.30\00:15:14.01 into someone who tastes grace 00:15:14.04\00:15:17.48 Look at how many things have happened, the great things in 00:15:18.51\00:15:23.05 the Bible. I think about David who said he was shaped in 00:15:23.08\00:15:27.09 iniquity. He knew from the womb he was shaped in iniquity 00:15:27.12\00:15:31.56 yet he was called a man after God's own heart. 00:15:31.59\00:15:35.20 Yes. I think about Jesus and the way He was born 00:15:36.06\00:15:39.90 what if, essentially His step father, what if Joseph 00:15:39.93\00:15:45.47 had rejected Him even though He had the connection with 00:15:45.51\00:15:49.21 God the Father, what would have happened? 00:15:49.24\00:15:51.91 You know a lot of times, the rejection again sends a ripple 00:15:51.95\00:15:56.55 effect you know through the ages, through birth, through 00:15:56.58\00:16:00.72 all the way up until adulthood they just don't act right 00:16:00.76\00:16:05.69 and they don't know why. And I remember again in the seminary 00:16:05.73\00:16:09.56 particular professor who taught with his wife, she's the one 00:16:09.60\00:16:12.90 that talked about it. She's the one that felt the rejection 00:16:12.93\00:16:16.07 and she explained how she felt it obviously not in the womb 00:16:16.10\00:16:21.54 but she felt it as an adult. And she couldn't explain as to 00:16:21.58\00:16:24.21 why she was reacting to certain things the way she was 00:16:24.25\00:16:27.42 Certain trigger points were making her angry 00:16:27.45\00:16:29.85 And she found out through asking the parents, asking 00:16:29.88\00:16:35.19 and asking and she found out why Why she was acting the way 00:16:35.22\00:16:40.13 she was because she was rejected from the womb. You know there's 00:16:40.16\00:16:45.00 a lot of things that go into play psychologically 00:16:45.03\00:16:48.64 and spiritually because God never rejects us 00:16:48.67\00:16:52.07 even though the world may but He never does 00:16:52.97\00:16:56.11 He formed us just the way we are there's people out there that 00:16:56.98\00:17:01.15 might be you know have different things as far as deformities 00:17:01.18\00:17:05.89 but He formed us and sometimes we look too much to the exterior 00:17:05.92\00:17:10.83 and not focus on the internal. And, as a father, I focus a lot 00:17:10.86\00:17:16.23 on my daughters wellbeing from inside out. 00:17:16.26\00:17:19.13 Because the exterior will change God forbid, accidents and things 00:17:19.17\00:17:23.41 of that nature but internally I really dedicate a lot of time 00:17:23.44\00:17:27.74 to my new born when she was in the womb, dedicated a lot of 00:17:27.78\00:17:31.01 time talking to her even though it didn't quite make sense 00:17:31.05\00:17:34.22 because it's a baby or not even, as a fetus or whatever you want 00:17:34.25\00:17:38.02 to call it. It's a baby, it's a child but it's a life 00:17:38.05\00:17:40.56 And I talked, and I spoke and I just didn't make any sense 00:17:40.59\00:17:44.36 until after she was born you see that connection developing 00:17:44.39\00:17:47.76 the beauty of it, it's like, I remember I was singing a song 00:17:47.80\00:17:52.93 about God's greatness to her she was falling asleep and I 00:17:52.97\00:17:56.07 started crying because there's such beauty, God's creation 00:17:56.10\00:18:01.88 not because she's my daughter but because this is a life 00:18:01.91\00:18:06.35 this is a life, from an egg, from nothing, from molecules 00:18:07.02\00:18:13.59 into a human being with arms and legs. How can anybody 00:18:13.62\00:18:18.03 have the heart to reject a child from the womb? 00:18:18.06\00:18:22.63 It just does not compute in my head. 00:18:22.66\00:18:25.43 It maybe because they were rejected. What I hear you say is 00:18:25.47\00:18:30.64 that we should, you start the process, you finish the process. 00:18:30.67\00:18:35.74 Havin a child is not just start it and then that's it 00:18:36.68\00:18:41.92 and again that's why it's important to be married 00:18:41.95\00:18:45.95 in a marital relationship so you can conceive in that 00:18:45.99\00:18:51.59 relationship not like what you were saying with you mom 00:18:51.63\00:18:56.36 Unfortunately that's where we need to educate our young men 00:18:56.40\00:19:02.17 This is serious because it messes up an entire generation 00:19:02.20\00:19:07.64 So if you're gonna start the process start it right 00:19:07.68\00:19:12.18 get married, do it right so you're there. You can come home 00:19:12.21\00:19:16.48 you can touch the stomach and all that stuff and talk to the 00:19:16.52\00:19:23.79 child. And so you can be there when the child is born 00:19:23.83\00:19:28.03 the entire process so the child I mean I enjoyed the fact 00:19:28.06\00:19:33.07 that I was there from the beginning 00:19:33.10\00:19:35.84 and I'll be there to the end by God's grace 00:19:35.87\00:19:38.57 And my daughter, we had a song I would come and I would sing 00:19:39.44\00:19:44.15 Butterfly Kisses to her in the womb. It was the most joyful 00:19:44.18\00:19:49.72 time in life. My son you know I had a song that I would sing 00:19:49.75\00:19:53.99 to him so I would run home from work just to get there 00:19:54.02\00:20:00.76 to spend that quality time when my wife was pregnant 00:20:00.80\00:20:04.77 and after the birth. It was important to me and I think 00:20:04.80\00:20:09.97 it should be important to every man out there to be there 00:20:10.01\00:20:15.91 from the beginning so that that child is whole 00:20:15.94\00:20:19.35 And even how you talk to the mother in the process 00:20:19.38\00:20:22.28 Oh yes. You know I remember my wife, she said rub this oil 00:20:22.32\00:20:27.46 coconut oil or whatever it was for my stretch marks and I was 00:20:27.49\00:20:30.63 like, you can do it yourself it's all good, like 00:20:30.66\00:20:34.43 I don't want to touch the baby but you know what, wait 00:20:34.46\00:20:38.87 that touch, not only are you bonding with your wife but 00:20:38.90\00:20:41.44 you're bonding with her, it's like, dare I say something like 00:20:41.47\00:20:44.41 an example of God's Trinity. Spiritual. Bonding 00:20:44.44\00:20:47.74 Three. So when people have quadruplets and everything 00:20:47.78\00:20:51.21 but I'm just using my example that bonding time with your wife 00:20:51.25\00:20:54.88 affects your child because they know, they feel. What they can't 00:20:54.92\00:20:59.15 they feel. Whatever the mother feels, they feel 00:20:59.19\00:21:02.56 If the mother's stressed, they're stressed 00:21:02.59\00:21:04.63 It's an amazing thing what God has given us the privilege to 00:21:04.66\00:21:08.60 doing like Gordon, like you said we've been talking about 00:21:08.63\00:21:10.83 there's such an importance to waiting until you get married 00:21:10.87\00:21:14.94 because you cannot throw this in the garbage can 00:21:15.87\00:21:18.21 like a lot of parents do to their kids, literally 00:21:18.24\00:21:21.04 not theoretically, literally. 00:21:21.08\00:21:23.75 We have to really hone in on the fact that sex is for married 00:21:23.78\00:21:29.08 people and the process of birth is a God given gift. 00:21:29.12\00:21:35.42 WE have no right, no right. We have the right to die 00:21:35.46\00:21:39.79 for our sin but God not only redeemed us through Jesus 00:21:39.83\00:21:44.27 but He's given us the ability to partake in the creation 00:21:44.30\00:21:48.07 process by procreating. 00:21:48.10\00:21:49.80 Not only is sex a gift between a husband and his wife 00:21:50.37\00:21:55.21 but it's also holy between a husband and his wife 00:21:57.11\00:22:01.58 You know Paul talks in Corinthians that our parts 00:22:02.38\00:22:05.79 belong to Christ and when we connect them to an harlot or 00:22:06.35\00:22:11.09 someone who's not our spouse it's an offense to Him 00:22:11.13\00:22:14.86 So if you want your child to be blessed in a holy home 00:22:16.30\00:22:21.57 do God's plan. Not Plan B, not Plan C or nothing else 00:22:22.30\00:22:28.21 God's plan because God knows what He's talking about 00:22:28.24\00:22:32.48 so you won't have these rejection issues 00:22:32.51\00:22:35.55 so you don't have these dramas so you don't have these 00:22:35.58\00:22:38.39 all these things if you do it the way God has designed it 00:22:38.42\00:22:42.99 now when the child comes in, the picture it's a blessing 00:22:45.33\00:22:50.00 there's a special, unique blessing 00:22:50.03\00:22:52.43 You know I came from, like I said, my background, most people 00:22:52.47\00:22:55.10 from my background were from you know either extra marital 00:22:55.14\00:22:58.77 affairs, unfortunately or single parents. 00:22:58.81\00:23:03.31 And so God put it in my heart 00:23:04.95\00:23:08.35 I need you even though you're 00:23:08.85\00:23:11.65 the youngest I need you to set this new legacy 00:23:11.69\00:23:16.56 to establish this legacy of holiness 00:23:17.46\00:23:21.43 I want you to marry this young lady 00:23:23.03\00:23:27.77 not have sex with her until you're married 00:23:27.80\00:23:30.57 and we waited until we were married 00:23:32.17\00:23:35.64 and then we got married and years later we had a beautiful 00:23:35.68\00:23:40.82 child. And now we have three 00:23:40.85\00:23:44.25 They know who their father is 00:23:45.62\00:23:48.29 I pick up the phone right now, I talk to the boys, I talk to 00:23:48.32\00:23:51.56 my daughter. Yes, of course, your daddy wants to talk to you 00:23:51.59\00:23:54.36 They know my voice. They know who their mother is 00:23:54.40\00:23:58.23 There's no rejection issue, why? Because we're invested in them 00:23:59.67\00:24:04.31 We know this is an investment, not for life, for eternity 00:24:05.77\00:24:11.51 And remember in the holiness the body is the temple 00:24:12.61\00:24:17.32 I mean that child is in a holy place 00:24:17.35\00:24:23.16 That's how serious this thing is that child is in a holy place 00:24:24.03\00:24:27.20 and so you don't desecrate the temple by having sex 00:24:27.23\00:24:32.87 out of wedlock. That's why we need to understand 00:24:32.90\00:24:37.44 when we get it out to all men out there and not only that 00:24:37.47\00:24:41.64 Because some people say, well I got married but then 00:24:43.21\00:24:48.25 look what happened. He just left. You gotta be careful who 00:24:48.95\00:24:52.92 you get married to. Mercy. Remember what happened to Saul 00:24:52.95\00:24:56.99 See we haven't been delicate lately with holy things 00:24:57.96\00:25:01.90 We need to be delicate with holy things 00:25:04.03\00:25:06.87 And sex is a holy thing 00:25:07.80\00:25:10.94 And that's only between a husband and his wife 00:25:10.97\00:25:15.11 not a husband and a wife 00:25:15.14\00:25:17.28 or girlfriend or anything but a husband and I'm specifically 00:25:17.31\00:25:22.05 saying a male husband and his female wife 00:25:22.08\00:25:25.62 Yes. It's a holy thing and God blesses, blesses it 00:25:26.49\00:25:32.53 Remember with Saul, when Saul went ahead and made a sacrifice 00:25:32.56\00:25:37.23 that only a priest was supposed to do 00:25:37.27\00:25:38.93 He was rejected. I mean we look at David's record and David 00:25:39.73\00:25:44.31 did a lot of things but when Saul did that 00:25:44.34\00:25:47.84 was like a slap in God's face 00:25:49.41\00:25:53.31 because that was a holy thing only a priest was supposed to do 00:25:53.92\00:25:58.42 and so when you, as a man or a woman say, you know, I'm gonna 00:25:58.45\00:26:02.02 take something that is holy because I have feelings and 00:26:02.06\00:26:06.93 I have emotions and I have wants and I'm gonna get satisfaction 00:26:06.96\00:26:13.23 from this, you know you're desecrating a holy thing 00:26:13.27\00:26:18.37 and God is not mocked 00:26:18.41\00:26:19.87 It's interesting that we're talking about this because 00:26:20.84\00:26:23.85 all three of us didn't come to this conclusion because we 00:26:23.88\00:26:27.72 we followed straight in the paths of our lives you know 00:26:27.75\00:26:30.02 we all come from crazy backgrounds 00:26:30.05\00:26:34.26 and just picked up the phone accepting the call to ministry 00:26:34.29\00:26:37.06 and we learned what we have today through bumps and bruises 00:26:37.09\00:26:41.66 and really being submissive to God 00:26:42.46\00:26:46.03 What do you think Gordon? 00:26:46.77\00:26:48.37 I think submission to God is an important part of the whole 00:26:48.40\00:26:51.84 process, cause if we submit to God, God is going to lead and 00:26:51.87\00:26:54.88 He's going to direct your life. 00:26:54.91\00:26:56.38 If you're not submissive to God then you're going to be 00:26:56.41\00:27:00.15 doing, you're going to do your own thing and you're gonna make 00:27:00.18\00:27:03.08 all kinds of mistakes. We make mistakes when we're submitted 00:27:03.12\00:27:06.86 to God, we still make mistakes cause we live in a sinful world 00:27:06.89\00:27:10.73 and we are sinful. The Bible says no one is without sin 00:27:10.76\00:27:15.86 but understanding and recognizing that when you're 00:27:15.90\00:27:18.73 submitted to God, God is going to direct your path 00:27:18.77\00:27:23.04 And I think that's the important thing 00:27:23.07\00:27:24.67 and you're gonna make right decisions. 00:27:24.71\00:27:26.54 Thank you guys and man, again we ran out of time 00:27:26.98\00:27:29.74 but we'll talk about this some more, so 00:27:29.78\00:27:32.78 for the viewers out there, I know it's tough 00:27:32.81\00:27:37.22 if you have any questions, please send it in 00:27:37.25\00:27:39.95 to AFH@3ABN.ORG 00:27:39.99\00:27:43.16 AFH@3ABN.ORG 00:27:43.19\00:27:46.36 Now, what I want to leave you with is this 00:27:46.39\00:27:48.86 Even though the ideal thing is to be married 00:27:48.90\00:27:53.34 to have sex and have kids 00:27:53.37\00:27:55.50 for those of you that have made error or whatever the reason 00:27:55.54\00:27:59.11 might be, please do not dismiss your kids 00:27:59.14\00:28:02.78 the connection starts from birth 00:28:02.81\00:28:05.78 If you're man enough to go and have sex 00:28:05.81\00:28:08.42 be man enough to be in it from beginning to end 00:28:08.45\00:28:11.05 Thank you 00:28:11.09\00:28:12.49