Well good morning once again.
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And we welcome our host audience
and our world-wide audience
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to hour #3 of this morning.
We are just prior to lunch
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so in case you are
thinking about that it is coming
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but we have 1 more presentation
before we allow you to break
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for your mid-day meal, and
it comes from Dr. Magna Parks.
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She has been
introduced to you previously,
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having spoken before.
Was a professor of psychology
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at Oakwood
University for a time.
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Holds her Ph. D. in that field
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and is a
much-sought-after speaker.
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Plain, practical ministry.
Today we're going to be
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dealing with
Growth Through Trial.
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And I remember a discussion
that I had some time ago
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with another pastor,
and the question was:
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What teaches better
lessons, success or failure?
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Do we learn
more when we succeed?
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Or do we learn
more when we fail?
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A necessary part
of growth is trial.
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Sometimes we would
like to avoid trial, but
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indeed the Lord brings
certain trials for our growth.
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And that is what she is
going to talk about today.
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So we're very, very
pleased to have Dr. Magna Parks
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to bring us this
particular presentation.
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Before she speaks
our music is coming from
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someone that I had the privilege
of baptizing some 28 years ago.
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That's going back a little ways.
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She was a singer in the world
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and making a respectable
amount of money doing that.
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But she gave her
heart to the Lord
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and brought a
number of souls with her.
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I know it was my privilege
to baptize her back in 1986.
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I do believe, September.
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Are you going to say
how late I was all the time?
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I was not going to say, but
since you opened the door...
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I was not going to say
that she came to church late
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every single Sabbath...
never came to church on time.
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But having said that,
she came to church late
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because she went out and
brought a number of people
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from the music
industry to church with her.
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So in going
around to pick them up
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it made her delayed.
But what I did like is
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she marched that group
of musicians and singers
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down the aisle of the church
and sat right on the front row.
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And they opened their
books and their Bibles
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and their pens and took notes.
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So when she came to the
Lord she went immediately back
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to the entertainment industry
to bring others with her.
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And a number of those
individuals we baptized
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and are in the church to
this day. And one of them,
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Darryl, came here and
did an interview at 3ABN.
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So if you're going to be late
because you're bringing souls
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with you, then you can
be as late as you want.
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But she did get in
time for the sermon.
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Usually just about
sermon time she would get there.
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And then she hosted a
Bible study in her home
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on Friday evening.
And that Bible study went
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sometimes to 1... 2
o'clock in the morning
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with these same industry people.
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So it's hard to study the Bible
till 1 o'clock and then get up
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real, real early
for church on Sabbath.
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So I gave her a pass on that.
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But we have been
friends for that time...
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she and her two
sons. And now she is here
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at 3ABN and doing just a
wonderful job for the Lord.
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Yvonne, what are
you going to sing?
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He Still Leads. He
Still Leads... Yvonne Lewis.
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When trials and tests
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have come my way,
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when I have failed
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or I have strayed,
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my heart can hope
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for I believe
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that He still leads...
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He leadeth me.
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When daylight fades
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and life is gone,
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when night is long
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and faith is hard,
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I trust in Him
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though I can't see
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for He still leads...
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He leadeth me.
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He still leads...
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with hands extending grace.
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He still leads
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with mercies new each day.
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Whatever comes
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my soul He'll keep.
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For He still leads...
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He leadeth me.
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And when I stand
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on Jordan's shore,
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when death is near
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and life is o'er
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I will not fear
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the waters deep.
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Oh no... for He still leads...
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He leadeth me.
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Oh, He still leads
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with hands extending grace.
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He still leads
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with mercies new each day.
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Whatever comes
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my soul He'll keep.
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For He still leads...
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He leadeth me.
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He leadeth me,
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He leadeth me.
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By His own hand
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Jesus leadeth me.
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His faithful follower
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I would be
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for by His hand
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Jesus leadeth me.
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Yes He still leads...
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by
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saving grace.
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He still leads
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with mercies new each day.
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Whatever comes
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my soul He'll keep.
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For He still leads...
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He leadeth me.
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Oh, He still leads...
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He leadeth
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me.
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Amen.
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Thank you, Yvonne, for
that. That was beautiful.
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He leadeth me.
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I was writing
down some of the words.
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She says: "I trust
Him though I can't see,
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He leadeth me... He still leads.
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Whatever comes my
way He leadeth me. "
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Amen? Amen! Thank
you so much for that.
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Good morning...
no... good afternoon.
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How are you all? Good.
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Good to be back with you.
Let's bow our heads for prayer.
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Father, we thank you
so much that You lead us
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and we pray that we
may always remember this
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no matter what comes our way.
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And as we talk about growth
through trials may this theme
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run constantly through
our minds and our hearts.
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We pray for Your Holy Spirit
to continue to abide in this
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place. In the name of
Jesus Your Son we do pray, Amen.
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Amen.
Difficulties, trials, adversity.
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Have you heard those words?
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Can you relate to those words?
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If you can't relate, that
means you're not still living.
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Only those who are 6'
under cannot relate to the words
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difficulties,
difficulties, trials.
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Everyone sitting here...
I'm sure if I took a mike
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and I went to each one of
you you would be able to tell me
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some difficulty
that you've been through
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or that you're
currently going through now.
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Amen?
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Unfortunately, I always
look at things through how
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society teaches us.
We're not learning real well
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how to deal with difficulties.
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I mean, that's
always been the case
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but it's getting even worse.
We have a quick-fix society now.
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You drive up and
you order your food.
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You press a button
and the TV turns on.
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And I can go on and on with the
wonderful things that technology
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has done, but you
know what it's done?
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It's conditioned our mind
to say: "I can't handle things;
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I want to get it
fixed immediately. "
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Right? As a psychologist
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I deal with people and
sometimes people call me.
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I'm not in practice any more
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but I do a lot
of phone counseling.
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And sometimes people call me
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merely because they're
having a hard time dealing with
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their difficulties. I'm glad to
be there, brothers and sisters,
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but I'm going to
make a confession to you.
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It saddens my heart... I
don't know how to say this
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without making people feel bad
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or... but it saddens
my heart that Christians
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are having an increasingly-
difficult time dealing with
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difficulties
that come their way.
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Does that make
sense what I'm saying?
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It really does. I have a
quote by a psychologist...
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Actually, it was a book
written by a psychiatrist
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and a lay person,
and listen to the title:
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One Nation Under Therapy.
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And the subtitle is:
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How the Self-Help Movement
is Eroding our Strength.
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And it really is happening.
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And in the book they say this:
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"In this era of
grief and trauma counseling
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one is tempted to ask how
humanity managed to survive
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for thousands of
years before its advent.
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In previous years we were
more likely to seek solace
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from a priest or a minister
or to accept another explanation
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for catastrophe.
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We were once fairly recognized
to what could not be changed;
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now we want answers. "
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And there's several things
in the book that they talk about
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where they see
this self-help movement.
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Sad to say, my people -
many of them - pushing people
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to rely too much on
human beings for help.
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Now no man is an island so
I don't want you leaving here
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thinking that I'm saying:
"Don't ever talk to people. "
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Jesus sought for support from
His disciples at times, right?
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But what I'm saying is
we're becoming too dependent
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on human beings. And as
difficulties come our way
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we don't know how
to handle them as well.
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And so I've written a book
about... This is just an aside.
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If you're interested, in
my booth I've written a book
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about the
dangers... Some of you have it.
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You stopped by my table
and told me. It's called
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Christians Beware: the
Dangers of Secular Psychology.
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And I talk about some of
the ways that psychology -
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sad to say, secular
psychology - how it has had
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a negative impact in some ways.
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And I also have a series that
I did at Pastor Bohr's church
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called Mind Games...
similar information to the book.
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But psychology has done some
good things and in other ways
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has not done some good things.
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Now we have words
such as trauma, crisis,
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and we use these words.
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And one things that's
connected with the word trauma -
00:13:13.93\00:13:16.14
I'm sure you've heard
about this - is post-traumatic
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stress disorder.
Have you heard of that?
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Actually that word came
about right after the World War
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veterans - World War
II veterans - came back
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and we heard about them having
shell shock and flashbacks
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and nightmares, and the term
post-traumatic stress disorder
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was first applied to them.
And then we started to apply it
00:13:34.21\00:13:37.32
to abuse victims and
people who were raped
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dealing with
all kinds of trauma.
00:13:39.87\00:13:41.34
So it is a real phenomenon
and I don't want to minimize
00:13:41.64\00:13:46.11
that at all. I've met
people who... they can't sleep
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because they have nightmares
of the horrible thing that has
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happened to them. Or
they avoid certain places
00:13:51.88\00:13:54.38
because it reminds them of
how they were taken advantage of
00:13:54.59\00:13:57.01
and mistreated.
00:13:57.11\00:13:58.22
So I don't want you to at
all think I'm minimizing that.
00:13:58.42\00:14:00.97
But today I want to talk about
another side to difficulties...
00:14:01.07\00:14:05.06
a side in which we can be
helped to become better people
00:14:05.36\00:14:09.11
and better Christians, in fact.
00:14:09.31\00:14:11.37
And the Bible tells us
that in many different ways...
00:14:11.48\00:14:15.44
shows us that we can grow
from trials in many texts,
00:14:15.64\00:14:19.39
but there's just a few
I want to share with you.
00:14:19.53\00:14:21.33
One that we'll look up and see
on the screen or you could use
00:14:21.54\00:14:23.64
your Bible to turn to:
James chapter 1 verses 2-3.
00:14:23.74\00:14:28.46
A verse that we
are familiar with.
00:14:28.76\00:14:30.35
James chapter 1 verses 2 and 3.
00:14:30.55\00:14:34.65
You're familiar
with this verse I'm sure.
00:14:34.85\00:14:36.56
You could read it
on the screen as well.
00:14:36.86\00:14:38.83
What type of
temptations? Divers.
00:14:44.49\00:14:46.51
Do you know what that means?
00:14:46.65\00:14:47.70
Different! When you fall
into different temptations...
00:14:48.10\00:14:51.47
You don't feel that way
when you're being tried, do you?
00:14:58.13\00:15:00.56
But the end result
if we hang in there
00:15:00.76\00:15:03.90
is that "the trying of
your faith worketh patience. "
00:15:04.10\00:15:08.31
Another one. Romans
chapter 5 and verse 3.
00:15:08.61\00:15:12.52
Romans chapter 5 and verse 3.
00:15:12.62\00:15:15.28
You'll see that as a
common theme with these verses.
00:15:26.27\00:15:28.98
The Lord says through different
people: "If you hang in there
00:15:29.08\00:15:31.77
and deal with this difficulty
it's going to work patience. "
00:15:31.97\00:15:34.82
And it's so interesting to me
'cause I think of the end of the
00:15:35.12\00:15:38.94
three angels'
messages. What do they say?
00:15:39.14\00:15:41.19
What does it
say? "Here is the...
00:15:41.39\00:15:43.38
patience of the saints.
00:15:43.58\00:15:45.63
Here are they that
keep the commandments of God
00:15:45.83\00:15:47.79
and have the faith of Jesus.
" But we always think about
00:15:47.89\00:15:50.72
the commandment keeping
but what other characteristic
00:15:50.92\00:15:54.12
is going to be shown? Patience.
00:15:54.32\00:15:56.02
And that patience,
brothers and sisters,
00:15:56.32\00:15:58.43
is going to be developed by
the trials that God is allowing
00:15:58.53\00:16:02.32
to come our way.
00:16:02.42\00:16:03.54
It's something
that's simple but profound
00:16:03.74\00:16:06.62
when I started to connect that.
00:16:06.72\00:16:08.44
Another verse:
Hebrews 12 verse 11.
00:16:08.64\00:16:10.93
Hebrews 12 verse 11.
00:16:11.84\00:16:14.38
That's real. Nothing seems
to be joyous at the time that
00:16:21.80\00:16:24.80
we're going through it.
00:16:24.90\00:16:25.93
We're being trained
by these various things
00:16:36.92\00:16:39.80
that are coming our way.
00:16:39.90\00:16:41.04
It's a school... We're in
school. Did you know that?
00:16:41.24\00:16:43.08
As we're down here on
earth we're actually in school.
00:16:43.48\00:16:46.20
And do you ever graduate
from this earthly school?
00:16:46.51\00:16:49.12
Yes she says. Yes, we graduate
when Jesus comes and gives us
00:16:49.88\00:16:53.23
instead of our
diplomas what? Our crowns! Amen!
00:16:53.33\00:16:55.98
But we're in school
and we're being trained.
00:16:56.08\00:16:59.16
I like this quote that I read
from the Spirit of Prophecy.
00:16:59.46\00:17:02.22
I just found it
this morning. She says:
00:17:02.25\00:17:04.18
"Faith, patience... "
Umm, can I read my words?
00:17:04.38\00:17:08.61
"forbearance,
heavenly-mindedness,
00:17:08.82\00:17:11.93
trust in your heavenly Father. "
00:17:12.13\00:17:14.45
Listen to why
she describes these:
00:17:14.65\00:17:16.60
"are the perfect blossoms
00:17:16.90\00:17:19.89
which mature amidst
clouds and disappointments
00:17:20.09\00:17:24.99
and bereavement. "
00:17:25.19\00:17:26.69
So they're flowers that blossom
00:17:26.99\00:17:29.33
amidst clouds,
disappointment, and bereavement.
00:17:29.53\00:17:33.39
Now we can
benefit from difficulties.
00:17:33.79\00:17:37.36
And finally I always say
psychology is hundreds of years
00:17:37.56\00:17:41.23
before the Bible.
00:17:41.34\00:17:42.42
Because in 1995
two psychologists,
00:17:42.62\00:17:45.45
Drs. Tedeschi and Calhoun,
00:17:45.65\00:17:47.68
they came up with the concept
called "post-traumatic growth. "
00:17:47.89\00:17:53.34
Have you ever heard that?
00:17:53.64\00:17:55.51
We hear a lot about
post-traumatic stress
00:17:55.82\00:17:57.98
but these two psychologists
came up with the idea
00:17:58.18\00:18:01.20
of post-traumatic growth.
00:18:01.40\00:18:04.12
It's interesting to
see how they're catching up
00:18:04.32\00:18:06.54
with the Bible. And this is
what post-traumatic growth...
00:18:06.64\00:18:09.46
You could read the
definition on the screen:
00:18:09.56\00:18:11.44
Isn't that something?
00:18:24.39\00:18:26.34
You see why I say psychology
is catching up with the Bible?
00:18:26.64\00:18:29.12
Because all the verses
we just read and many other
00:18:29.23\00:18:31.46
already told us that.
00:18:31.56\00:18:33.08
But psychologists now realize
00:18:33.38\00:18:35.36
that we can grow as
a result of adversity.
00:18:35.56\00:18:39.35
And the interesting
thing about this is that
00:18:39.75\00:18:42.11
for them as they looked at this
00:18:42.31\00:18:44.08
the growth occurs with
the distress that we feel.
00:18:44.28\00:18:48.43
So because a person is
going through something
00:18:48.73\00:18:51.00
and they're growing, it doesn't
mean they will not feel fear.
00:18:51.20\00:18:54.29
It doesn't mean they will not
feel... I already said fear...
00:18:54.60\00:18:58.36
anxious or worried.
That might still be going on,
00:18:58.56\00:19:02.39
but the difference is those
emotions are not overriding
00:19:02.89\00:19:06.93
the growth. So you're
growing as you're crying.
00:19:07.13\00:19:11.00
You're growing as you're
lonely but you're still growing.
00:19:11.20\00:19:14.92
So we're trained
to avoid these things,
00:19:15.12\00:19:18.66
and one psychologist
said: "If we're only aware
00:19:18.77\00:19:21.92
of the bad
consequences of adversity
00:19:22.12\00:19:25.02
we will assume
that we should feel bad
00:19:25.22\00:19:27.89
and we can actually end up talk-
ing ourselves into depression.
00:19:28.09\00:19:31.51
Because all we are familiar
with is: "You know, I've had
00:19:32.17\00:19:35.10
this terrible thing happen
and this is what usually happens
00:19:35.20\00:19:38.24
to people who experience this. "
00:19:38.34\00:19:39.98
And that's what
we're focusing on.
00:19:40.18\00:19:41.59
And we can actually
talk ourself into anxiety
00:19:41.69\00:19:43.96
or into depression. But
if we recognize and start
00:19:44.06\00:19:46.90
to understand not only can I
experience post-traumatic stress
00:19:47.00\00:19:50.84
but I can experience
post-traumatic growth
00:19:51.04\00:19:53.65
that whole process will
help you respond differently
00:19:53.86\00:19:56.67
to adversity. Amen?
00:19:56.77\00:19:58.37
Listen to some things
that research found that
00:19:59.56\00:20:02.48
people say after they experience
post-traumatic growth.
00:20:02.69\00:20:05.71
This is some of the
statements they made.
00:20:05.92\00:20:08.45
One person said: "My
priorities have changed. "
00:20:08.65\00:20:12.44
Another person said: "I
feel closer to my friends and my
00:20:12.84\00:20:16.89
family. " Another person dealing
with trauma and dealing with
00:20:16.99\00:20:21.06
growth said: "I
understand myself better. "
00:20:21.16\00:20:24.77
And still another person said:
00:20:25.17\00:20:27.36
"I have a new sense
of meaning and purpose. "
00:20:27.56\00:20:31.40
These are some statements
people made as they did the
00:20:31.70\00:20:34.32
research on
post-traumatic growth.
00:20:34.42\00:20:37.18
Now, psychologists have been
studying this more and more.
00:20:37.21\00:20:40.45
We understand the
old research showed -
00:20:40.65\00:20:43.68
and it's still
true to some extent -
00:20:43.88\00:20:45.35
that some people have
had such horrible experiences
00:20:45.55\00:20:49.44
when they were younger
that they are more sensitive
00:20:49.54\00:20:52.12
to stress when they get older.
00:20:52.22\00:20:54.60
OK... so they're
kind of sensitized.
00:20:54.90\00:20:56.75
That explains why one
person will have a breakup with
00:20:56.95\00:20:59.76
a boyfriend and decide
to try to kill themselves
00:20:59.86\00:21:03.38
whereas another person
may have a breakup and not try
00:21:03.58\00:21:06.21
to kill themselves. A lot
of times psychologists can
00:21:06.31\00:21:08.59
go back and recognize
there are some difficult things
00:21:08.69\00:21:11.25
they've been through so they're
more sensitive to stress.
00:21:11.35\00:21:13.75
However, there's some new
research that's actually showing
00:21:14.05\00:21:17.98
that people who
experience early adversity
00:21:18.18\00:21:21.97
actually cope with
later adversity better.
00:21:22.18\00:21:25.25
But it's so interesting. They
compared 3 different groups.
00:21:26.05\00:21:29.26
One group had no
adversity when growing up.
00:21:29.56\00:21:33.57
Do they really exist?
00:21:33.78\00:21:35.55
I guess so... they
found them for the research!
00:21:35.85\00:21:38.40
Another group had a
moderate amount of adversity.
00:21:38.64\00:21:42.39
And then there was a third
group that had a high amount
00:21:42.69\00:21:46.61
of adversity. I don't have
the research in front of me
00:21:46.72\00:21:49.10
so I can't tell you how
they distinguished between
00:21:49.20\00:21:51.19
the moderate
and the high amount.
00:21:51.29\00:21:53.45
But what they found was
those who had no adversity
00:21:53.66\00:21:56.45
versus those who had
too much adversity...
00:21:56.65\00:21:59.37
they didn't handle
stress very well later on.
00:21:59.57\00:22:01.69
But the ones who had just
the right amount of adversity
00:22:01.99\00:22:07.49
they had a better
sense of mental health.
00:22:07.69\00:22:09.81
Better growth and
did much better in life.
00:22:10.11\00:22:12.95
As Christians we
don't... we recognize
00:22:13.35\00:22:17.11
that God also looks
at what comes our way.
00:22:17.31\00:22:20.63
We read this verse you
read on the screen with me.
00:22:20.93\00:22:23.11
You know this
verse... I Corinthians 10:13.
00:22:23.31\00:22:25.83
We have to believe this
00:22:49.18\00:22:50.92
in spite of how
difficult a trial may appear.
00:22:51.02\00:22:54.35
And I also like what the
servant of the Lord says.
00:22:54.66\00:22:57.47
I also will show this
on the screen as well.
00:22:57.67\00:22:59.68
She says:
00:22:59.88\00:23:00.98
That's so encouraging to me
00:23:31.52\00:23:33.40
and it should be
encouraging to you as well.
00:23:34.60\00:23:37.59
Everything that comes your way
00:23:37.69\00:23:39.28
God puts it in a
scale and measures it
00:23:39.48\00:23:41.85
and says: "Can
Magna handle this? "
00:23:42.05\00:23:43.58
"Can Johnny handle this? "
00:23:43.88\00:23:45.55
"Can Sue handle this? "
00:23:45.65\00:23:47.52
"I think she
can... I think he can. "
00:23:47.72\00:23:49.99
And He allows it to
come their way... our way.
00:23:50.19\00:23:53.03
And she goes on in this
same quote and I'm going to
00:23:53.27\00:23:55.77
just say what
she said. She said:
00:23:55.87\00:23:57.29
"When we're
overpowered by the difficulties
00:23:57.39\00:23:59.98
we can't charge God. "
00:24:00.18\00:24:02.52
"The reason we're overpowered,
" she says, "is because
00:24:02.72\00:24:05.24
for one, we've not
been vigilant enough;
00:24:05.44\00:24:08.24
we've not been prayerful enough;
00:24:08.55\00:24:11.99
or we have not used
by faith the provisions
00:24:12.19\00:24:17.01
that God has given to us. "
00:24:17.11\00:24:18.77
So we can't say: "God,
You're putting this on me...
00:24:18.97\00:24:21.63
I can't handle this.
Why are You allowing this? "
00:24:21.73\00:24:23.92
No, it's because there are
some things we're not doing
00:24:24.22\00:24:27.10
that's helping us to be able
to bear that particular burden.
00:24:27.30\00:24:30.89
God knows how much
adversity is enough.
00:24:31.19\00:24:34.13
This verse and this quote
became particularly dear to me
00:24:35.30\00:24:39.15
in my life about... I'm going
to share a little with you.
00:24:39.65\00:24:44.56
I was teaching at Oakwood
and engaged to be married
00:24:44.99\00:24:47.56
and a month before the wedding
I called the marriage off
00:24:48.50\00:24:51.03
because the Lord told me
not to marry this particular
00:24:52.02\00:24:53.93
gentleman. Moved to Atlanta.
00:24:54.03\00:24:56.21
And after I moved to
Atlanta about a month later
00:24:57.60\00:25:01.17
a brother of mine who
was a physician in California
00:25:01.37\00:25:03.89
became missing
00:25:04.19\00:25:05.58
and we didn't find
him for three years.
00:25:06.08\00:25:07.99
My mother just went downhill.
00:25:08.93\00:25:11.34
You know when they found him?
00:25:11.64\00:25:13.24
A week before my
wedding three years later.
00:25:13.54\00:25:17.52
They found his body.
We don't know: foul play?
00:25:17.76\00:25:20.08
We tried to find out; we
never found out the truth.
00:25:20.18\00:25:22.61
Six months later my
mother had a stroke.
00:25:23.01\00:25:26.22
Then as time went
on... And I'm sure all of you
00:25:27.14\00:25:30.71
all have stories. But
I don't want to make mine
00:25:30.81\00:25:32.18
seem like I'm just so
much more... have been through
00:25:32.28\00:25:35.31
so much difficulty. But
I'm just sharing with you.
00:25:35.42\00:25:37.63
I don't know
how many years later
00:25:38.03\00:25:40.08
I lost use of this
right arm right here.
00:25:40.28\00:25:42.72
Couldn't use it at all.
I was married at that time.
00:25:42.75\00:25:44.79
And finally they found
out I was diagnosed with
00:25:44.99\00:25:47.56
multiple sclerosis.
00:25:47.67\00:25:48.89
But by God's grace
through natural methods -
00:25:49.19\00:25:51.29
and different
people use different ways -
00:25:51.40\00:25:53.41
so I'm not at all saying that
that's the way you have to go.
00:25:53.51\00:25:55.64
I decided to go that route.
00:25:55.74\00:25:57.06
And it's been six
years... no problem. OK? Amen!
00:25:57.27\00:26:00.85
So God brought me through that.
00:26:01.18\00:26:03.01
And then a few years after that
00:26:03.21\00:26:05.26
my mother was
diagnosed with cancer.
00:26:05.36\00:26:07.16
And six month later she died.
00:26:07.46\00:26:09.60
A year and a half after that
00:26:10.10\00:26:12.21
which was my most
trying situation that I'm still
00:26:12.32\00:26:15.21
working through my
husband died suddenly.
00:26:15.31\00:26:17.65
We were doing ministry together.
00:26:18.05\00:26:19.83
In fact, he had come here and
he did a few cooking schools.
00:26:19.93\00:26:22.93
I don't know, some of
you may have seen him.
00:26:23.03\00:26:24.22
He did a few cooking programs.
00:26:24.42\00:26:25.61
He and I appeared on 3ABN Today.
00:26:25.81\00:26:27.41
I did some issues
and answers programs.
00:26:27.61\00:26:29.64
I mean, we were rolling
along with our ministry.
00:26:29.74\00:26:31.49
And he had something
called AV malformation.
00:26:31.69\00:26:33.95
Something that you're born with,
a congenital brain disorder.
00:26:34.15\00:26:36.25
Had problems with his legs.
00:26:36.55\00:26:37.77
Giving you the
short end of the story.
00:26:37.97\00:26:39.15
And three years later he
had an aneurysm and died. OK?
00:26:39.25\00:26:42.25
I Corinthian
10:13 was my watchword.
00:26:42.59\00:26:47.04
In the middle of the night...
Well I didn't wake up a lot.
00:26:47.34\00:26:49.32
Thank God, I slept well.
00:26:49.52\00:26:50.84
But in the morning I'd wake
up and I'd have to repeat that
00:26:51.04\00:26:53.42
and say: "Lord, You knew
this was coming Magna's way.
00:26:53.52\00:26:55.83
You allowed it; You
weighed and measured it.
00:26:56.03\00:26:58.17
I don't understand it. "
I still don't understand it
00:26:58.37\00:27:00.37
but I can tell you,
brothers and sisters:
00:27:00.67\00:27:02.75
not bragging... I am
a different person today
00:27:02.85\00:27:05.96
than I was before
my husband passed.
00:27:06.26\00:27:08.24
Some of those things that I read
to you that the people said:
00:27:08.54\00:27:11.08
"I have new
meaning and purpose. "
00:27:11.28\00:27:13.18
"I'm a different person. "
00:27:13.38\00:27:14.41
"I'm closer to my
friends and family members. "
00:27:14.58\00:27:16.35
I can tell you
that that is for me...
00:27:16.55\00:27:18.44
so I can personally
- PERSONALLY - attest
00:27:18.54\00:27:21.59
to the idea of
post-traumatic growth.
00:27:21.79\00:27:23.95
Now I was watching a
video one day by a woman
00:27:24.25\00:27:29.85
who was a game developer.
00:27:30.05\00:27:32.01
And she had a brain concussion.
00:27:32.41\00:27:34.65
Her doctor put her to
bed rest for three months.
00:27:37.00\00:27:40.54
She became suicidal.
00:27:40.64\00:27:42.62
And while she was in the bed
- she wasn't religious at all -
00:27:42.92\00:27:45.37
the thought came to her:
"I'm not going to let this
00:27:45.68\00:27:47.82
bring me down. " And
she was a game developer
00:27:47.92\00:27:50.16
so she devised a game
called "Super-Better. "
00:27:50.36\00:27:54.02
And she asked her sister
to participate in that game
00:27:54.32\00:27:57.13
with her. But she did
research for this game,
00:27:57.23\00:27:59.45
and I want to share with
you some of the research.
00:27:59.55\00:28:01.25
I hope you don't mind
when I share research with you
00:28:01.35\00:28:03.26
because I think it's so exciting
to see what research is showing.
00:28:03.46\00:28:08.06
And in the research she found
00:28:08.37\00:28:11.04
that post-traumatic
growth occurs because people
00:28:11.24\00:28:15.13
are resilient. Have
you heard that word before.
00:28:15.33\00:28:18.47
And she said that resilience
00:28:18.87\00:28:21.89
was very important as
she ran across the research.
00:28:22.09\00:28:24.84
And resilience is the key
to people growing as a result
00:28:25.04\00:28:29.70
of trials and difficulties.
00:28:29.80\00:28:31.36
And she found four types of
resilience that we must build.
00:28:31.66\00:28:35.89
She said by the way,
even people who don't deal
00:28:36.09\00:28:38.01
with trauma, they will grow
if you develop these four types
00:28:38.11\00:28:41.33
of resilience. And let me
tell you these four types.
00:28:41.43\00:28:44.30
Physical resilience.
00:28:44.51\00:28:46.25
Mental resilience.
00:28:47.32\00:28:49.34
Emotional resilience.
00:28:49.85\00:28:52.24
And social resilience.
00:28:52.54\00:28:54.58
Physical, mental, emotional,
and social resilience.
00:28:54.89\00:28:59.99
And let's talk
about each one of these
00:29:00.19\00:29:01.80
based on what... her
name is Jane McGonigal.
00:29:02.11\00:29:04.63
M- C-G-O-N-I-G-A-L if
you ever want to look her up.
00:29:04.93\00:29:07.93
Jane McGonigal.
00:29:08.23\00:29:09.74
With physical
resilience the research shows
00:29:09.94\00:29:13.75
that your body
can resist more stress
00:29:13.95\00:29:16.82
and heal itself faster
when you're physically strong.
00:29:17.03\00:29:21.14
The research shows that
the number one thing you can do
00:29:21.85\00:29:25.06
to boost your
resilience is to not sit still.
00:29:25.16\00:29:29.19
So that means you all
00:29:30.46\00:29:31.66
are all not boosting
your resilience right now.
00:29:31.77\00:29:33.95
But that's OK... "there's a
time and place for everything:
00:29:34.35\00:29:36.56
the wise man Solomon tells us.
00:29:36.66\00:29:38.36
Every second that
you are not sitting still
00:29:38.66\00:29:42.30
you improve the strength
of your heart and your brain.
00:29:42.50\00:29:46.74
And another psychologist,
Dr. David Hoversten...
00:29:47.04\00:29:49.40
I think he's
actually a MD, a psychiatrist.
00:29:49.50\00:29:51.46
He says: "People who
are physically toughened
00:29:51.66\00:29:54.87
are able to withstand prolonged
stress better than others.
00:29:55.07\00:29:58.37
Exercise makes us mentally
and emotionally strong. "
00:29:58.40\00:30:02.82
I know for myself the
day after my husband died
00:30:03.12\00:30:06.37
I was out walking.
00:30:06.47\00:30:07.86
I did it before...
but I did it even more.
00:30:08.06\00:30:10.39
Walking every day.
And I know for a fact
00:30:10.59\00:30:13.57
that getting out,
walking in nature,
00:30:13.77\00:30:16.16
talking to the Lord, not
only helped me spiritually but
00:30:16.36\00:30:19.12
it built me physically to
withstand what I would have to
00:30:19.22\00:30:22.02
deal with losing him.
00:30:22.12\00:30:23.18
So that's physical resilience.
00:30:23.38\00:30:25.16
Let's look at mental resilience.
00:30:25.36\00:30:26.72
And this is the one
that's really important.
00:30:26.82\00:30:28.73
Mental resilience has to
do with developing more mental
00:30:29.03\00:30:32.36
focus, more
discipline, more determination,
00:30:32.46\00:30:37.04
and more will power.
00:30:37.24\00:30:39.89
There are characteristics
of mental resilience.
00:30:40.58\00:30:43.91
These are the characteristics
that we need to develop:
00:30:44.11\00:30:46.17
mental focus, more discipline,
determination and will power.
00:30:46.47\00:30:49.82
And basically, what
mental resilience says is
00:30:50.12\00:30:53.46
you are changing how
you look at the situation.
00:30:53.66\00:30:57.42
I remember when my
husband died I said: "Lord,
00:30:58.26\00:31:00.47
we were right in the
height of building our ministry.
00:31:00.57\00:31:03.25
Why did You do this?
" And you know what the
00:31:03.35\00:31:04.70
Holy Spirit said to me?
"Magna, you're concerned about
00:31:04.80\00:31:07.79
your ministry but My
concern is salvation. "
00:31:07.89\00:31:10.15
And the reason that was
significant - if I could be
00:31:11.21\00:31:13.10
personal again - my
husband and I would have morning
00:31:13.20\00:31:15.41
and evening devotionals
and we would hold hands.
00:31:15.52\00:31:18.00
And he would take my hands
and on our knees he would say:
00:31:18.10\00:31:19.86
"Lord, I want to be
saved. I want Magna to be saved.
00:31:19.96\00:31:23.10
And if it means that one of us
has to go before the other... "
00:31:23.20\00:31:25.73
And I would just stiffen.
00:31:25.93\00:31:26.96
And after prayer I'd say:
"Al, why are you saying that? "
00:31:27.16\00:31:29.25
He says: "Magna,
we have to be serious
00:31:29.46\00:31:30.79
about our salvation
00:31:30.89\00:31:32.22
and if it means that one of
us has to go before the other
00:31:32.42\00:31:34.70
so be it. " Little did
he know what he was saying.
00:31:35.00\00:31:38.27
Little did he know.
00:31:39.12\00:31:40.16
But we have to change the
way we look at situations.
00:31:40.36\00:31:43.34
This includes we need to
see obstacles as challenges
00:31:43.54\00:31:47.35
to be overcome
and not to block us.
00:31:47.55\00:31:50.85
Change how we look at things.
00:31:51.25\00:31:53.13
We need to find meaning
in difficult situations.
00:31:53.43\00:31:58.06
Instead of viewing
yourself as a victim
00:31:58.36\00:32:00.90
view yourself as a victor. Amen!
00:32:01.20\00:32:05.04
Say: "I am a
victor... I can be an overcomer
00:32:05.53\00:32:08.64
with this situation... even
though I don't feel like it. "
00:32:09.04\00:32:12.39
You have to develop
the perspective of learning
00:32:12.69\00:32:16.25
from mistakes rather
than denying mistakes.
00:32:16.46\00:32:20.46
We're talking
about mental resilience.
00:32:20.66\00:32:22.36
And she has a quote
from Christ Object Lessons -
00:32:22.46\00:32:25.02
Ellen White - that I
have to share with you.
00:32:25.12\00:32:26.51
I wanted to get it on the
screen but we don't have it.
00:32:26.61\00:32:28.47
Just listen. It's
Christ Object Lessons page 332.
00:32:28.67\00:32:32.13
She says: "Bear this in mind:
00:32:32.53\00:32:34.50
if you have made
mistakes you may gain a victory
00:32:34.90\00:32:39.74
by discerning these mistakes
00:32:39.94\00:32:42.43
and by regarding
them... " I like this phrase...
00:32:42.63\00:32:46.00
"as beacons of warning
00:32:46.20\00:32:48.79
to enable you to
shun their repetition.
00:32:49.19\00:32:53.30
Thus you turn your defeat
00:32:53.50\00:32:56.30
into victory,
disappointing the enemy
00:32:56.50\00:32:59.78
and honoring
your Redeemer. " Amen.
00:32:59.98\00:33:01.94
Isn't that encouraging?
00:33:02.24\00:33:04.00
We must look at our
mistakes as beacons of warning.
00:33:04.30\00:33:08.24
Very important.
00:33:08.44\00:33:10.02
Still talking about
mental resilience...
00:33:10.32\00:33:12.38
other ways to change
how we look at things
00:33:12.58\00:33:14.82
is to be persevering.
00:33:15.02\00:33:17.16
Don't give up.
00:33:17.46\00:33:19.29
Learn new behaviors.
00:33:19.50\00:33:21.43
And another thing
the research shows:
00:33:21.73\00:33:23.78
take decisive action.
00:33:23.98\00:33:27.31
What do I mean by that?
00:33:27.61\00:33:28.89
Well, one writer cited a
few examples of decisive action.
00:33:29.19\00:33:33.23
For example, those
who survive a disaster
00:33:33.63\00:33:37.16
and they become more involved
in rebuilding their community
00:33:37.36\00:33:41.19
guess what? They experience
more post-traumatic growth.
00:33:41.39\00:33:45.64
If you're a cancer survivor
00:33:45.94\00:33:48.29
and you decide you're going
to live a healthier lifestyle
00:33:48.49\00:33:50.81
not only because you want
to try to address your disease
00:33:51.01\00:33:54.60
but just to decide to do that,
00:33:54.70\00:33:56.16
you experience more
post-traumatic growth.
00:33:56.36\00:34:00.01
If you are a parent
who has lost a child
00:34:00.21\00:34:03.07
and you go and
volunteer in a school,
00:34:03.27\00:34:05.28
you're building your mental
resilience; you'll experience
00:34:05.48\00:34:07.85
more... say it with
me... post-traumatic growth.
00:34:07.95\00:34:11.74
OK... so you're
building your mental resilience.
00:34:12.04\00:34:15.33
You all
understanding me on that?
00:34:15.54\00:34:17.09
Let's go to the next
area: emotional resilience.
00:34:17.40\00:34:21.01
And that is the
ability to manage our emotions
00:34:21.22\00:34:24.65
and to evoke positive emotions.
00:34:24.86\00:34:27.92
You know we can do that, right?
00:34:28.02\00:34:29.28
By what we say to ourselves
we can evoke positive emotions.
00:34:29.58\00:34:33.11
Psychologists have come
up with something called
00:34:33.32\00:34:35.89
the three-to-one
positive emotion ratio.
00:34:36.09\00:34:39.83
For every three
negative emotions you experience
00:34:40.23\00:34:43.72
that day, that week, that hour
00:34:43.92\00:34:48.05
if you can
experience one positive emotion
00:34:48.35\00:34:51.95
you will do
better and you'll grow.
00:34:52.25\00:34:54.53
So there's the three to one.
00:34:54.83\00:34:56.35
I'm sorry. I said
that completely wrong.
00:34:56.65\00:34:59.16
Please... three
positive emotions
00:34:59.66\00:35:02.93
for every negative emotion.
00:35:03.03\00:35:05.46
So if you're
experiencing a negative emotion,
00:35:05.77\00:35:07.86
if you can say somehow "Lord"
or change your thought pattern
00:35:08.07\00:35:11.84
and experience
three positive emotions,
00:35:11.94\00:35:14.27
so it's a three to one
- positive to negative -
00:35:14.47\00:35:16.86
then you can greatly manage
your health and your ability
00:35:17.06\00:35:20.63
to deal with problems. OK?
00:35:20.83\00:35:22.53
Learn how to manage your strong
feelings and your impulses
00:35:22.84\00:35:26.40
instead of giving in to them
00:35:26.60\00:35:28.01
and realize that you have
a choice in most situations
00:35:28.41\00:35:32.61
and that you can have
some control over yourself.
00:35:32.82\00:35:35.14
I talk about and I have the
DVD: What We Think We Become.
00:35:35.34\00:35:38.42
Many of us think
ourselves into problems.
00:35:38.82\00:35:41.36
You know that?
00:35:41.56\00:35:42.65
One psychologist said
that... I went to a workshop...
00:35:42.95\00:35:45.19
He says: "What we
think is killing us. "
00:35:45.29\00:35:48.08
It's not only the diseases...
it's what we're thinking
00:35:49.22\00:35:52.07
that's killing us.
00:35:52.38\00:35:53.46
And so you have the ability
to develop positive emotions.
00:35:53.67\00:35:57.53
You have the ability
to manage your emotions.
00:35:57.83\00:36:00.11
And the people who
are better able to do this
00:36:00.14\00:36:02.72
they experience more
what? Post-traumatic growth.
00:36:02.92\00:36:07.48
OK. And then the last
one that the research shows
00:36:07.68\00:36:11.06
is social resilience.
00:36:11.26\00:36:13.85
You gain strength
from your friends,
00:36:14.05\00:36:17.18
your friends, your
neighbors, your community.
00:36:17.38\00:36:20.51
The research shows
that people who suffer alone
00:36:20.81\00:36:25.85
are less likely to
grow from a trauma.
00:36:25.99\00:36:29.59
I can personally say this has
been one of the most powerful
00:36:30.26\00:36:33.77
things for me. In fact,
one of the girlfriends who was
00:36:33.87\00:36:36.65
there for me, she drove
up with me here to 3ABN.
00:36:36.76\00:36:38.76
Gwen... she's here.
00:36:38.86\00:36:40.04
And having friends
and family members...
00:36:40.24\00:36:43.35
There's another couple
who is here... the Gardners.
00:36:43.45\00:36:45.11
They were also there for me.
00:36:45.31\00:36:46.35
They came in and cooked
food that day of the funeral.
00:36:46.55\00:36:48.88
Them and some other friends.
00:36:49.08\00:36:50.20
I could just name people...
I shouldn't name people
00:36:50.30\00:36:52.02
because some of my
friends are going to say:
00:36:52.12\00:36:53.24
"You didn't mention my name. "
00:36:53.34\00:36:54.62
But I have many good friends
and I know that that's what
00:36:54.72\00:36:57.92
helped me grow from dealing
with the loss of my husband.
00:36:58.12\00:37:00.80
Another thing under
this social resilience
00:37:01.10\00:37:04.39
is gratitude. The
research shows that
00:37:04.59\00:37:07.79
when you experience gratitude
00:37:07.99\00:37:10.60
the memories of your
difficulties are less likely
00:37:10.80\00:37:15.53
to resurface.
00:37:15.73\00:37:16.88
If you express
gratitude: "Thank you so much
00:37:17.08\00:37:19.81
for being there for me. "
00:37:19.91\00:37:21.18
"Father, thank you for
what You've done for me today. "
00:37:21.38\00:37:23.53
Just expressing
gratitude. When you do that
00:37:23.73\00:37:26.15
those negative
memories will come up less.
00:37:26.35\00:37:29.07
That's what the research shows.
00:37:29.37\00:37:30.85
And that will help you ex-
perience post-traumatic growth.
00:37:31.15\00:37:34.56
Another thing that's important
is just the mere thing of touch.
00:37:34.76\00:37:38.19
Hugging... shaking a hand.
00:37:38.59\00:37:41.58
Putting your hand
on someone's shoulder.
00:37:41.88\00:37:43.86
All of these things contribute
to post-traumatic growth.
00:37:44.06\00:37:48.54
So, the four areas again?
00:37:48.57\00:37:51.01
Physical resilience,
00:37:51.41\00:37:53.00
mental resilience,
00:37:53.31\00:37:54.92
emotional resilience,
00:37:55.22\00:37:56.75
and social resilience.
00:37:56.85\00:37:58.34
And whether or not you're
going through a trial right now
00:37:58.54\00:38:01.31
these things the research shows
00:38:01.61\00:38:04.05
when you practice them regularly
00:38:04.25\00:38:07.13
they add 10 years
to your life. Amen!
00:38:07.33\00:38:10.52
It's amazing the
mind-body connection.
00:38:11.05\00:38:14.24
Now Jesus also
recognized the importance
00:38:14.54\00:38:19.28
of social relationships.
And it's interesting...
00:38:19.48\00:38:23.20
the other thing about
this social resilience
00:38:23.40\00:38:25.64
that leads me to what I
was going to say about Jesus
00:38:25.84\00:38:27.95
is those who surround
themselves with people
00:38:28.15\00:38:31.44
who have also been through
what they have gone through
00:38:31.64\00:38:35.46
experience more growth.
00:38:35.57\00:38:37.56
And the Mount of
Transfiguration...
00:38:37.86\00:38:40.85
do you remember who
appeared with Jesus?
00:38:41.05\00:38:43.06
Moses and
Elijah. Moses and Elijah.
00:38:43.26\00:38:46.20
Listen to what the
servant of the Lord says:
00:38:46.40\00:38:48.24
"At the transfiguration
the Lord sent Moses and Elijah
00:38:48.54\00:38:53.40
to talk with Jesus
concerning His suffering
00:38:53.50\00:38:56.92
and death. " And listen to
what she says in this sentence:
00:38:57.12\00:39:00.03
"Instead of choosing
angels to converse with His Son
00:39:00.23\00:39:04.36
God chose those
who had themselves
00:39:04.67\00:39:08.91
experienced the
trials of earth. "
00:39:09.11\00:39:12.09
Isn't that something?
00:39:12.29\00:39:13.74
God cares for everything,
brothers and sisters.
00:39:14.05\00:39:16.58
He could have sent the
angels to talk with Jesus
00:39:16.78\00:39:18.97
but He said: "No,
Moses and Elijah can relate
00:39:19.17\00:39:21.82
to an extent to
what He's going through.
00:39:22.03\00:39:23.68
I'm going to send
them to talk to Him. "
00:39:23.89\00:39:25.43
What a merciful, wonderful
God we serve. Amen? Amen!
00:39:25.73\00:39:28.92
So we've talked about these
four areas, but you know...
00:39:29.22\00:39:32.05
One more thing I meant to men-
tion with the social resilience.
00:39:33.32\00:39:36.05
There's research that says
that those who forgive more
00:39:36.35\00:39:40.09
experience more growth.
00:39:40.29\00:39:41.74
Forgiveness is so important.
00:39:42.14\00:39:45.04
Have you all heard of
the story of Corrie ten Boom?
00:39:45.34\00:39:47.66
Some of you might
have heard the story.
00:39:48.64\00:39:50.48
This was a Dutch Christian
who hid a lot of the Jews
00:39:50.69\00:39:54.48
during the Nazi time trying
to kill the Jews... genocide.
00:39:54.68\00:39:57.65
And she hid a lot
of them and eventually
00:39:57.78\00:39:59.65
was imprisoned. And
she... after she got out
00:39:59.75\00:40:03.17
did a lot of talking, and
one of her favorite topics
00:40:03.37\00:40:05.42
to talk about was forgiveness.
00:40:05.52\00:40:07.16
Even though she had experienced
that adversity and that trauma.
00:40:07.36\00:40:09.90
One day she was
talking about forgiveness
00:40:10.11\00:40:11.96
and someone walked up to her.
00:40:12.16\00:40:14.22
And it was one of the
guards in the Nazi camp
00:40:14.42\00:40:16.33
who treated her very
badly and her family.
00:40:16.53\00:40:19.00
And he reached out his hand and
said: "Will you forgive me? "
00:40:19.30\00:40:21.87
She said bitterness arose.
00:40:22.17\00:40:24.63
Hatred arose. But then
certain verses came to her mind.
00:40:24.83\00:40:28.44
She said: "I have to do
this; I speak about this. "
00:40:28.64\00:40:30.72
Reached out her
hand and forgave him.
00:40:30.75\00:40:32.96
Do you think she has post-
traumatic growth from that?
00:40:33.26\00:40:35.70
Now forgiveness is not
something that sometimes is
00:40:36.78\00:40:39.05
humanly possible.
But by God's grace
00:40:39.25\00:40:41.81
we can forgive. And so
the Bible tells us this, too.
00:40:42.01\00:40:46.02
That's why God tells us so
much to forgive one another.
00:40:46.16\00:40:48.64
It's not only because we
can make it into the kingdom
00:40:48.84\00:40:50.84
but it's also good
for our mental health.
00:40:51.04\00:40:53.04
That's why I like when
she says: "True psychology is
00:40:53.44\00:40:56.34
found in the
scriptures" because it is!
00:40:56.54\00:40:59.22
If we follow the scriptures,
much mental health can grow
00:40:59.42\00:41:02.83
as a result. So
forgiveness is very important.
00:41:02.93\00:41:05.90
All of these things are good.
00:41:06.30\00:41:08.25
But one of the most
important things to help us deal
00:41:08.45\00:41:11.74
is the spiritual aspect.
00:41:11.94\00:41:13.89
We need to have a
relationship with the Lord.
00:41:14.19\00:41:17.07
Right before my husband died
00:41:17.27\00:41:19.81
the Holy Spirit impressed
me to read the book of Job.
00:41:20.01\00:41:22.84
Didn't know why I
would be reading it.
00:41:23.90\00:41:26.12
But many of those things
that I read came back to my mind
00:41:26.42\00:41:30.18
after he passed,
and my devotional life
00:41:30.38\00:41:32.91
increased even more.
Prayer and devotional
00:41:33.01\00:41:35.33
life is really
important to me today.
00:41:35.53\00:41:38.07
But the spiritual
aspect is very important
00:41:38.18\00:41:41.71
when we think about
growing as a result of trials.
00:41:41.91\00:41:45.29
Let's just talk about a few...
a couple of Bible characters
00:41:45.59\00:41:49.58
to see if they grew. One of my
favorites I mentioned yesterday
00:41:49.78\00:41:52.49
was Joseph. Joseph is an
example for me in many ways.
00:41:52.59\00:41:56.16
And the servant of the
Lord talks about him in
00:41:56.46\00:41:58.41
Patriarchs and
Prophets and she says that
00:41:58.51\00:42:00.63
he was a petted
kind of spoiled child
00:42:00.84\00:42:03.89
because he was
the father's favorite.
00:42:04.09\00:42:05.63
But the day that he was
carried away in that caravan -
00:42:06.03\00:42:09.20
I think it was the
Midianites he was sold to -
00:42:09.30\00:42:11.30
going on his way
to Egypt he was afraid
00:42:11.51\00:42:14.10
and wondered what
was going to happen.
00:42:14.30\00:42:16.74
But then he began
to think of his father
00:42:16.94\00:42:20.07
who talked about
the heavenly Father
00:42:20.27\00:42:22.43
who was there all the
time. Jacob talked about how God
00:42:22.64\00:42:24.73
was with him and helped
him through various things.
00:42:24.93\00:42:27.18
And he began to think about
it and as he thought about it
00:42:27.38\00:42:30.93
this is what happened.
Read with me on the screen -
00:42:31.13\00:42:34.71
in your mind - as I read it.
00:42:34.91\00:42:36.08
The quote says:
00:42:36.28\00:42:38.34
Is that not
post-traumatic growth?
00:43:17.07\00:43:19.26
Because of that experience
Joseph became a stronger person.
00:43:20.45\00:43:24.81
And that's why at the end
when his brothers came to him
00:43:25.01\00:43:27.80
and they were fearful
that now that Jacob had died
00:43:27.90\00:43:30.00
he was going to do
something to them. Remember?
00:43:30.20\00:43:32.23
And this is what he
said in Genesis 50:20
00:43:32.43\00:43:34.84
showing the growth. He said:
00:43:35.04\00:43:36.31
"But as for you... ye
thought evil against me
00:43:36.51\00:43:40.30
but God meant it unto good
00:43:40.50\00:43:42.97
to bring to pass
as it is this day
00:43:43.17\00:43:46.05
to save much people alive. "
00:43:46.26\00:43:48.60
Talk about someone who grew
as a result of their trauma!
00:43:49.51\00:43:52.52
I was just reading Desire
of Ages too, and I was reading
00:43:52.82\00:43:54.91
about Mary and Martha after
they sent the message to Jesus
00:43:55.01\00:43:58.18
that Lazarus had died. And
Jesus kind of took His time.
00:43:58.39\00:44:00.98
But in Desire of Ages
she tells us that their faith
00:44:01.48\00:44:04.81
was severely tried.
And she goes on to say
00:44:04.91\00:44:08.25
that Jesus knew that
because of the struggle
00:44:08.45\00:44:13.08
through which
they were now passing
00:44:13.28\00:44:15.53
their faith would shine
forth with far greater power.
00:44:15.73\00:44:20.30
I wonder if He seeks to
do the same for us sometimes
00:44:20.80\00:44:24.47
when He doesn't answer
our prayers right away.
00:44:24.67\00:44:26.39
I wonder if He's
saying: "I'm going to let
00:44:27.56\00:44:30.22
Suzanne struggle
here for a little while
00:44:30.52\00:44:33.63
because I want her
faith to grow with more power.
00:44:33.83\00:44:38.41
I want her to
become a stronger person. "
00:44:38.55\00:44:40.74
While Suzanne is
crying "Why me, Lord?
00:44:40.94\00:44:43.37
Why am I going through this? "
00:44:43.58\00:44:44.63
And God is saying: "If
you will just hang in there
00:44:44.73\00:44:46.74
you'll be a better
person... you'll be stronger;
00:44:46.95\00:44:49.67
you'll be more like Me. "
00:44:49.98\00:44:51.19
But when we're going through the
situation we don't realize it.
00:44:51.49\00:44:53.93
Another example of a
person who experienced trauma:
00:44:54.23\00:44:57.02
Paul. I mean, Paul
went through a lot.
00:44:57.22\00:44:59.63
He talked about being
beaten, stoned, shipwrecked,
00:44:59.83\00:45:03.84
placed in various
different situations.
00:45:04.04\00:45:06.66
But he ended up saying
in II Corinthians 4:8-9-
00:45:06.96\00:45:10.00
I love this verse:
00:45:10.20\00:45:11.30
"We are troubled on
every side yet not distressed.
00:45:11.50\00:45:15.24
We are perplexed
but not in despair.
00:45:15.44\00:45:19.12
Persecuted... but not forsaken.
00:45:19.42\00:45:22.45
Cast down but not destroyed. "
00:45:22.85\00:45:25.59
He also reached the
point where he could say,
00:45:25.99\00:45:29.07
I'll have it on the screen
again II Corinthians 12:10:
00:45:29.27\00:45:31.90
That's II
Corinthians 12 verse 10.
00:45:50.33\00:45:54.24
Then, of course, the
ultimate example was Christ,
00:45:54.44\00:45:58.42
who suffered in ways that
we will never have to suffer.
00:45:58.62\00:46:02.05
And one of the things that
Paul says that I thought was
00:46:02.35\00:46:05.17
interesting is that
Christ learned as a result
00:46:05.27\00:46:09.82
of His suffering.
00:46:10.02\00:46:12.28
In Hebrews 5:8 we read:
00:46:12.48\00:46:14.58
Isn't that something that
Christ actually had to learn.
00:46:24.34\00:46:27.44
He grew as a
result of the trauma.
00:46:27.64\00:46:30.00
I guess we can say that... that
might be kind of stretching it.
00:46:30.20\00:46:32.40
But He learned as a
result of the suffering.
00:46:32.60\00:46:36.21
He learned obedience.
00:46:36.31\00:46:37.63
And time will not
allow me to talk about Moses
00:46:37.83\00:46:40.44
and about Naomi and about
different other characters
00:46:40.74\00:46:44.37
in the Bible who grew as a
result of their difficulties.
00:46:44.47\00:46:48.90
The Psalmist David
said in Psalm 119:71
00:46:49.20\00:46:52.95
it should be on the screen:
00:46:53.05\00:46:54.14
David actually got to the
point to say: "Lord, it's good
00:47:03.63\00:47:06.96
that I've been through
these difficulties because now
00:47:07.06\00:47:09.56
I can learn what
You're trying to teach me. "
00:47:09.66\00:47:11.97
Do you think David felt
good as he was going through
00:47:12.27\00:47:14.57
these difficulties? I want
you to get that in your mind
00:47:14.60\00:47:18.24
that the growth doesn't mean
you will not feel bad sometimes.
00:47:18.55\00:47:22.62
That you will not feel afraid.
00:47:22.92\00:47:24.49
But you can
still grow from that.
00:47:24.59\00:47:26.60
The Bible commentators
tell us that the lessons learned
00:47:26.80\00:47:30.91
from such experiences are
invaluable in the development
00:47:31.11\00:47:36.20
of Christian character.
00:47:36.40\00:47:38.45
We can also learn about
ourselves as a result of trials.
00:47:38.75\00:47:42.77
We should have this one on
the screen from Desire of Ages.
00:47:42.87\00:47:45.27
She says to us:
00:47:45.37\00:47:46.40
Do you know that
sometimes we are blindsided
00:47:58.36\00:48:00.23
to what's going on with us?
00:48:00.33\00:48:01.51
Some people, they don't want
to hear that anything is wrong
00:48:01.61\00:48:03.64
with them. And God says:
"OK, you won't hear it from
00:48:03.74\00:48:05.68
your husband, you
won't hear it from your wife,
00:48:05.79\00:48:07.75
I'm going to let a
few things come your way
00:48:08.05\00:48:10.01
so you can see a
little bit about yourself. "
00:48:10.21\00:48:12.06
In His mercy He does that.
00:48:12.46\00:48:14.46
because "the heart
is desperately wicked
00:48:14.66\00:48:16.35
and deceitful
above all things. "
00:48:16.45\00:48:18.05
And then one of the last
quotes that I'm going to mention
00:48:18.46\00:48:21.81
is one that really stuck
out with me when I re-read
00:48:22.01\00:48:24.85
Steps to Christ again.
00:48:24.96\00:48:26.25
And you should see it
on the screen. She says:
00:48:26.46\00:48:28.60
You know, after Adam sinned
00:48:51.33\00:48:53.77
that was the first time
they saw thorns and thistles.
00:48:53.97\00:48:56.01
And so God allowed this
to happen. It was a curse
00:48:56.41\00:48:59.70
but it was also a
blessing because in that
00:49:00.00\00:49:02.36
He was able to bring Adam
up. The labor and toil that he
00:49:02.56\00:49:05.73
had to do. And for us,
the difficulties in life
00:49:05.94\00:49:08.46
is part of the training -
I mentioned that earlier -
00:49:08.66\00:49:10.81
that we need as God tries
to lift us up from the ruin
00:49:11.01\00:49:14.99
that sin has brought
closer to the image that He has
00:49:15.09\00:49:19.13
for us. Does that make sense?
00:49:19.23\00:49:20.64
It doesn't feel like it
00:49:20.94\00:49:22.79
but that's what God
wants when He allows
00:49:22.99\00:49:27.02
things to come our
way. Difficulties are hard,
00:49:27.13\00:49:30.13
and we still need to understand
00:49:30.23\00:49:32.54
that people are
going through that.
00:49:32.64\00:49:33.69
I don't want you to
walk away from this.
00:49:33.79\00:49:35.53
This is the danger about talking
about post-traumatic growth.
00:49:35.73\00:49:37.91
That when you see
somebody going through something
00:49:38.11\00:49:40.01
"Oh, you can grow from that. "
00:49:40.04\00:49:41.25
You know, and we
don't show any sensitivity.
00:49:41.45\00:49:43.67
I don't want you to
walk away doing that.
00:49:44.07\00:49:46.18
"Oh, you know, I heard that
about post-traumatic growth.
00:49:46.38\00:49:48.23
You'll be OK... you'll grow. "
00:49:48.33\00:49:49.41
I don't want you doing that, OK?
00:49:49.71\00:49:52.44
We still need to be
sensitive to people.
00:49:52.58\00:49:54.81
We still need to
reach out to people.
00:49:55.01\00:49:56.99
We still need to
hurt when they hurt, OK?
00:49:57.29\00:50:00.27
But we in our own lives as
we're going through these things
00:50:00.40\00:50:03.29
say: "Father, I
can grow from this. "
00:50:03.49\00:50:05.38
You know, you don't have to
be down; you don't have to be
00:50:05.58\00:50:07.77
depressed. "I can
grow from this, Lord.
00:50:07.87\00:50:09.85
Help me to grow;
show me what I can do.
00:50:10.05\00:50:11.77
Show me who I can help.
00:50:11.97\00:50:13.08
Show me how I can
develop my body better.
00:50:13.29\00:50:16.20
Show me what I
can read in Your Word,
00:50:16.40\00:50:17.74
what promises I can hang on
to that will help me to grow. "
00:50:17.84\00:50:20.98
And the Lord will do
so. Do you believe that?
00:50:21.12\00:50:23.37
Amen. He will do so.
00:50:23.67\00:50:25.32
Going through trials
are also important because
00:50:25.62\00:50:28.26
there are times that are soon
to come... we don't talk about
00:50:28.46\00:50:30.90
it a lot but have you
heard of something called
00:50:31.00\00:50:33.27
"the time of trouble? " Yes.
00:50:33.37\00:50:35.44
It is coming,
brothers and sisters.
00:50:36.09\00:50:37.94
I don't mean to
make light of it.
00:50:38.04\00:50:39.23
And I remember talking to
Lewis Walton one time, and he
00:50:39.63\00:50:42.39
used this phrase. He said: "Some
things are test runs for us
00:50:42.59\00:50:45.79
or trial runs for us. "
00:50:45.99\00:50:47.65
And I believe some of the
trials we are going through now
00:50:47.85\00:50:50.21
are like the test runs for
those of us who are going to be
00:50:50.41\00:50:52.91
alive during that
time. And if we can grow now
00:50:53.01\00:50:56.76
when that time of trouble comes
when Jesus steps out of that
00:50:56.96\00:50:59.56
Most Holy Place and He says
that "He that is filthy, let him
00:50:59.66\00:51:02.12
be filthy still; he that is
righteous let him be righteous
00:51:02.23\00:51:04.46
still... " Brothers and sisters,
if we've not passed the test
00:51:04.56\00:51:07.45
before that we're in
big trouble at that time.
00:51:07.55\00:51:11.49
So overcoming trials
and growing through trials
00:51:11.99\00:51:15.08
is not just for us. It's
also a thing about eternity.
00:51:15.18\00:51:18.26
It is also a thing about us
standing before the universe
00:51:18.36\00:51:20.81
as witnesses to what God can do.
00:51:21.01\00:51:23.67
There will be a
people who are going to grow
00:51:23.77\00:51:25.92
and they're going to
stand during that time.
00:51:26.12\00:51:27.54
Do you want to be one of those?
00:51:27.65\00:51:29.15
I want to be one of those.
00:51:29.46\00:51:30.56
But start today,
brothers and sisters,
00:51:30.66\00:51:32.55
with the little tests
that are coming your way.
00:51:32.75\00:51:34.64
Start today. He
will help you to grow.
00:51:34.95\00:51:37.44
We are in a time, and I don't
believe it will be very long
00:51:37.74\00:51:41.69
before we see that time
coming and we need to grow.
00:51:41.72\00:51:44.33
Trials are one... I
want you through all of this
00:51:45.29\00:51:48.39
to walk away saying:
"Father, I want to deal with
00:51:48.59\00:51:51.35
trials a different way. "
00:51:51.45\00:51:53.03
That's what... if
nothing else you get from this
00:51:53.23\00:51:55.23
I want imprinted in your
mind that trials are things
00:51:55.44\00:51:58.31
that I can grow from and
not have to run from and avoid.
00:51:58.41\00:52:03.07
Amen? That's what I
want you to learn from this.
00:52:03.21\00:52:05.82
Post-traumatic growth. And
if you experience that growth
00:52:06.02\00:52:10.16
you can sing the song that
I want you to sing with me.
00:52:10.36\00:52:12.72
It's a song by Andre Crouch.
00:52:12.92\00:52:14.27
Just the chorus. How many of
you all know "Through It All? "
00:52:14.57\00:52:17.27
I love this song. We
could sing it together.
00:52:17.77\00:52:20.40
Just sing it: Through it all...
00:52:20.60\00:52:24.83
through it all...
00:52:25.13\00:52:28.58
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
00:52:28.88\00:52:32.76
I've learned to trust in God.
00:52:33.92\00:52:38.41
Through it all...
00:52:38.81\00:52:43.05
through it all...
00:52:43.35\00:52:46.42
I've learned to depend upon
00:52:47.30\00:52:52.16
His Word.
00:52:52.26\00:52:54.92
Isn't that what
we want to do? Amen!
00:52:55.13\00:52:57.00
God bless you
brothers and sisters.
00:52:57.13\00:52:58.39
Amen. That is powerful!
00:53:10.44\00:53:11.91
Gives me time to
tell one quick story.
00:53:13.18\00:53:15.77
When I... You hear me
refer to the Ephesus Church
00:53:16.08\00:53:19.13
so very much. Thank you for
bringing that microphone up.
00:53:19.33\00:53:22.02
When I got there at
Ephesus I did 117 funerals
00:53:23.53\00:53:26.69
in the seven years
that I pastored there.
00:53:26.89\00:53:28.48
That was one
funeral every 18 days.
00:53:28.69\00:53:30.58
It seems like every
time I went away on a trip
00:53:30.78\00:53:32.38
I came back to do a funeral.
00:53:32.48\00:53:33.75
My first funeral was a lady by
the name of Sr. Kathleen Downs.
00:53:33.95\00:53:37.82
I remember it because it was
one month after I got to that
00:53:38.02\00:53:40.24
church. Kathleen Downs
was a very beautiful, tall,
00:53:40.34\00:53:43.63
statuesque lady
of about 5'8", 5'9".
00:53:43.73\00:53:46.34
When I met her she was
5'9" - about 89 pounds.
00:53:46.64\00:53:50.07
She was wasting away of cancer
00:53:50.47\00:53:52.66
and they had put her in one
of those home where they put you
00:53:52.96\00:53:54.94
to just die and not bother you.
00:53:55.04\00:53:57.72
But the thing
about Kathleen Downs is
00:53:58.02\00:54:00.78
when I met her she
was singing for Jesus.
00:54:00.98\00:54:05.28
And even though her
body was wasting away
00:54:06.61\00:54:09.42
she sang for Jesus
as long as she could.
00:54:09.62\00:54:11.92
And don't you know that
there were people on that floor
00:54:12.80\00:54:14.78
that took note of
her singing for Jesus.
00:54:14.98\00:54:17.34
And the doctor told me...
00:54:17.74\00:54:21.06
He used a term that I
never heard a doctor use before.
00:54:21.16\00:54:23.01
He said: "This lady
is in apocalyptic pain. "
00:54:23.11\00:54:27.42
That's the term he used.
00:54:27.72\00:54:29.16
But she never asked for
medication; she never asked
00:54:29.36\00:54:32.32
for drugs; she never asked
for anything to dull the pain.
00:54:32.42\00:54:34.98
She just sang for Jesus
just as long as she could.
00:54:35.28\00:54:37.98
And then one day she
went to sleep in Jesus.
00:54:39.13\00:54:42.56
Well, we had her funeral.
And I remember the funeral
00:54:42.69\00:54:45.71
very well because at
the funeral her doctor came.
00:54:45.81\00:54:49.13
The oncologist came.
00:54:49.43\00:54:51.63
The nurse practitioner came.
00:54:51.83\00:54:53.87
The ward nurse came.
00:54:54.07\00:54:56.87
Her personal nurse came
00:54:57.07\00:54:59.44
and just about everyone from
that floor that attended her
00:54:59.74\00:55:02.26
came to that funeral
because they wanted to see
00:55:02.36\00:55:04.86
what kind of woman is
it? What kind of faith is it?
00:55:05.16\00:55:08.72
What kind of religion
is it that can keep someone
00:55:08.82\00:55:11.67
singing for God
through the kind of suffering
00:55:11.87\00:55:15.03
that she was attending?
00:55:15.23\00:55:17.55
Now I'd like to say
that we baptized them all.
00:55:17.95\00:55:20.91
I cannot say that.
00:55:21.21\00:55:22.35
We only baptized
one... one nurse.
00:55:22.65\00:55:25.08
Here's my question:
00:55:25.38\00:55:26.96
did Kathleen Downs have
to get cancer for that nurse
00:55:27.16\00:55:29.99
to be baptized?
00:55:30.09\00:55:31.46
Hmmm.
00:55:33.66\00:55:35.06
Did she?
00:55:35.37\00:55:36.63
Could there have
been any other way
00:55:37.95\00:55:40.01
for that nurse to come to
Christ beside Kathleen Downs
00:55:40.21\00:55:43.98
suffering from cancer?
00:55:44.18\00:55:45.48
I'll tell you the truth.
00:55:47.61\00:55:48.90
I'm not theologian
enough to answer that question.
00:55:49.20\00:55:51.66
But I will say this:
00:55:52.07\00:55:53.68
she did get cancer
and she did live for Jesus
00:55:53.98\00:55:57.72
and she did sing for Jesus.
00:55:57.95\00:56:00.23
And the Bible says
when you stand up for Christ
00:56:00.53\00:56:02.84
Christ stands up for you.
00:56:03.04\00:56:04.23
And there are people
who will see you standing up
00:56:04.33\00:56:06.98
for Christ and be drawn to Him.
00:56:07.19\00:56:09.40
I don't know if she HAD to.
00:56:09.70\00:56:11.34
I think God could have
found maybe some other way.
00:56:11.44\00:56:13.50
But she DID stand up for
Christ and somebody saw that
00:56:13.70\00:56:17.97
and they wanted to have
that in their own lives.
00:56:18.17\00:56:20.84
This growing in trials -
and I like what Dr. Parks said.
00:56:21.55\00:56:25.68
Trials are
trials. They're tough...
00:56:25.88\00:56:27.24
and you cannot smile
and grin all the time.
00:56:27.44\00:56:30.02
But you can praise God
even through your trials
00:56:30.22\00:56:33.16
and you can
remember Hebrews 13:5-6
00:56:33.36\00:56:36.15
which tells us we are not alone
00:56:36.35\00:56:37.92
and in whatever state we
are we've got to be content
00:56:38.12\00:56:40.26
because God has weighed
that trial and given it to us.
00:56:40.46\00:56:42.85
And we can boldly
say: "God is my helper.
00:56:43.15\00:56:45.78
What can man do to me? "
00:56:45.98\00:56:48.11
It's a rhetorical question
because the answer is nothing.
00:56:48.41\00:56:50.60
When you're in the hands of God
00:56:50.90\00:56:52.32
you are as we
used to say in New York
00:56:52.52\00:56:55.44
"bullet proof. "
00:56:55.64\00:56:56.86
Because even if they kill
you they haven't hurt you.
00:56:57.16\00:56:59.63
You just caught
an earlier bus...
00:56:59.93\00:57:01.54
you're going to
sleep a little longer
00:57:01.64\00:57:03.16
and then one day you'll
wake up in Christ Jesus.
00:57:03.56\00:57:05.78
117 funerals... and at every
funeral I said the same thing.
00:57:06.08\00:57:09.42
I said: "Death in Christ
00:57:09.62\00:57:12.98
is not such a bad thing.
00:57:13.28\00:57:16.08
Not really. Death in
Christ is to be preferred
00:57:16.38\00:57:21.18
to life without Him...
00:57:21.38\00:57:23.90
because those
who live for Christ
00:57:24.10\00:57:27.29
and die in Christ
will one day live again. "
00:57:27.49\00:57:31.68