Participants: Deniza Hush
Series Code: 09GYC
Program Code: 09GYC000003
|
00:12 For the planned session this afternoon we are going to
00:15 be blessed with a testimony from a lady named Deniza 00:18 Hush, and you can read all about her qualifications and 00:21 background in the program booklet. 00:23 She is a good friend of mine. 00:25 She has a very interesting background of how she came 00:29 to know the Lord and her whole conversion experience. 00:33 I encourage you to listen and you will be blessed. 00:37 Prior to the message there were be special music by the 00:42 Ketts family and they will be playing a piece entitled 00:46 "My Peace", may you be blessed. 04:12 Audience: Amen! 04:26 Good afternoon! 04:28 And it is so nice to see you all here. 04:31 It is such a privilege 04:33 to be a part of GYC. 04:37 I had to fly all over, 04:39 from England to the United 04:41 States and it was a very long and turbulent journey. 04:44 As we fly, we experienced, at least for the first time 04:47 in my life, some very, very shocking turbulence winds. 04:52 As I was sitting next to my husband, I'm not a panicky 04:58 person, you will learn more about me in a minute. 05:02 I'm not a panicky person at all, but as I was sitting 05:06 thinking about the height, the altitude at which we 05:11 were flying, and feeling the shaking of the airplane, 05:16 I started being very, very claustrophobic. 05:21 The panic was taking me over, I said Lord, I don't know 05:26 how this flight is going to end up, but if you want me 05:30 to speak to people that GYC You will have to get me 05:34 there safely. 05:36 Also I said Lord if you want me to talk about the 05:39 miracles that You have performed in my life, 05:42 I need a miracle today. 05:45 The Lord is so good, Jesus is so gracious and the 05:49 turbulent winds stop suddenly and we could fly safely. 05:54 I was calm and happy. 05:57 So thank you Jesus, for that experience. 06:00 Now it was a March morning in 1995. 06:05 I was preparing for a youth Congress much smaller than 06:11 this one here. 06:13 I was just a newly baptized Seventh-day Adventist person 06:16 and I got up very early. 06:19 It was maybe seven o'clock in the morning and I 06:22 already went through my Sabbath school lesson. 06:24 I sung a few hymns very quietly in my bedroom. 06:27 Just thinking about the time, to be on time for the 06:31 train and meeting with some friends that were traveling 06:35 together to a little town in Croatia. 06:38 That day I was supposed to give a testimony. 06:42 A testimony about how God worked in my life. 06:45 How God converted a Muslim youth that was struggling 06:50 with atheism, mysticism, new age, occultism, 06:54 sounds terrible, doesn't it? 06:56 But that was my story and as I was getting ready, 06:59 suddenly I heard a little tap at the door and my 07:03 father came in. 07:05 As he walked in the room he noticed that I had my Bible 07:09 my lesson book, my hymnbook open on the table. 07:13 I was ready to leave but he didn't like what he saw. 07:19 He challenged me, he grabbed my hymnbook and tore it 07:25 into pieces. 07:27 He insisted that this was the time and this was the 07:30 moment when I was supposed to declare myself. 07:34 I was supposed to declare that I believe the Bible was 07:40 the ultimate revelation of God. 07:43 I was shaking with fear, not because I was so 07:47 frightened of my dad's stature and strength. 07:51 At the time I was undefeated karate champion from 07:56 Croatia, I was preparing for a world champion 08:01 competition just as much as European. 08:03 I was not frightened of my fathers fists, but that day 08:10 I decided I would surrender my pride, my strength, 08:17 my ability to defend myself and declare that Jesus was 08:23 indeed my God and my Savior. 08:27 I knew the gravity of the situation, 08:31 it could cost my life. 08:33 Trembling and crying I made the decision I would not 08:40 fight my dad or defend myself in any way. 08:45 If I perish I perish were my thoughts. 08:50 I have nothing to hide, Jesus was too great to be 08:56 ashamed of and besides it was His job to protect me 09:02 as His child. 09:03 So I told my dad what I believed. 09:07 With a silent quiet voice I said yes dad I believe Jesus is God. 09:16 Suddenly with streams of curses 09:20 he stepped backwards and I saw 09:24 that he was just trying to gain further leverage for 09:31 what was about to happen. 09:34 The next thing I saw was his fist flying towards my 09:38 face, I anticipated a full blow, 09:42 but it never reached me. 09:45 His fist flying through the mid air just stopped, 09:53 and as he struggled to push further towards me, 09:56 he couldn't move. 09:59 Then he stepped back and tried again and his fist 10:05 wouldn't go any further. 10:07 In his confusion, he tried again to punch me, 10:10 but the same happened again. 10:13 He could not do it, not because he was sorry for me, 10:19 but because his fist was stopped by an unseen hand. 10:26 While this was happening, I recalled Psalm 57:4 10:31 promising protection of God's angels to those 10:36 who fear God. 10:38 I heard a voice saying to me, there are three lines 10:42 of Angels standing around you, encamping around you 10:46 and your father will not harm you. 10:49 Diabolically angry my dad started spitting at me 10:53 but he couldn't reach me. 10:55 And while he was shouting the whole house got up, 11:00 my three sisters, two brothers, my mother came in. 11:04 There was a big argument in the room. 11:07 I was just praying and shaking, this time not in fear, 11:10 but praying for my family. 11:13 I was frightened that the Lord would bring the ceiling 11:15 down and they would perish like those in the 11:18 Philistines Temple with Samson. 11:22 I had to pray for them and the Lord was merciful. 11:27 The last words that I heard that day was the shouting 11:32 of my father saying, that I should never again come 11:37 back home and be part of the family. 11:42 But how did all this story start? 11:46 I was born into a Muslim family, into a liberal 11:50 Muslim family as a second of six children in Zagreb, Croatia. 11:55 My parents were very hard working parents, very loving. 12:01 They were very sacrificial. 12:03 I was brought up in a socialistic country where 12:08 religion was ridiculed, but my father took time to 12:12 instruct us as children to be proud of our Islamic 12:17 origin, and be proud of our lifestyle and our religion. 12:22 As a child in elementary school I used every opportunity 12:28 to witness to my schoolmates and my teachers, although no 12:33 one could understand what I was 12:35 all about, I felt very, very special. 12:38 I felt I was a child of God. 12:41 It was only later, as a teenager, my father started 12:46 being more strict on us. 12:48 He didn't want us mixing with so-called 12:51 Christian youth, although very few people in Croatia 12:54 at the time were truly Christian. 12:57 He imposed lots of rules on us. 13:01 What I didn't like as a person, I didn't like rules 13:05 without meaning, I didn't like rules without explanation. 13:09 So slowly in my heart I started rebelling against my 13:13 father's religion. 13:15 As a teenager I developed an intense interest in 13:19 philosophy, fine arts and poetry. 13:21 I dreamt of being a fine artist and while studying the 13:27 history of art, I got amused by seeing that most of the 13:32 art actually depicts Christianity. 13:36 Up to 19th century, all the European art mainly, just 13:40 tells the story of Jesus, the story of Christianity. 13:45 That was the time when I became interested in 13:47 Christianity, not because I wanted to be a Christian, 13:50 but because I wanted to be an intellectual. 13:53 I wanted to know more about things. 13:56 It wasn't just art, it was the reading that was 14:00 unsupervised, the more I read, the more my interest in 14:05 some deviant subjects grew. 14:07 The more my interest in them grew, the more I read. 14:12 It was like a vicious circle. 14:13 It was an exciting cycle for a growing teenager trying 14:17 to make sense of the world. 14:19 Looking back it was definitely my rebellion against 14:22 the tight fist of my father's rule, his religion, 14:25 and his occasionally vary despotic headship 14:29 in our home. 14:31 My mother at the time became, I'm talking as a 14:34 14-year-old, I made a martyr for myself. 14:37 I would do anything, whatever I desired, shamelessly 14:43 and fearlessly and at the time I knew very little that 14:48 this was truly a description of Satan. 14:53 It made more sense to me to live absurd life as an 14:58 atheist devoid of any meaning to be enslaved by a 15:04 stupefying nonsense religion. 15:07 As a result I chose to immerse myself in alternative 15:11 rock music scene and spend many hours listening to 15:15 music that glorified disturbed thoughts and emotions. 15:23 This trend continued until my university years at which 15:27 I was given a new ultimatum. 15:30 My father said I had to choose between fine arts and 15:33 my rocketing karate career. 15:36 I was happy to leave karate, I really wanted to study art, 15:42 but before I left my karate club I met a friend 15:48 with a very special person who at the time an art student. 15:52 You see when we talk about art, maybe in America, 15:56 or even in England, many people can study art here. 16:00 But in Croatia, out of the whole country, only 12 16:03 people would be selected after rigorous examination 16:07 to become an art student. 16:09 It was something very difficult to achieve. 16:11 A very, very high level of Excellency. 16:14 I needed lots of support, my family wasn't interested 16:17 in supporting me in my art career. 16:21 So once I made friends with this friend from the karate 16:25 club, he offered me art lessons in his studio. 16:28 I was overwhelmed and we became really good friends. 16:31 But what was very interesting in this friendship, 16:34 is that this person not only trained me in art, 16:38 but actually started slowly questioning all my 16:41 atheistic views on a daily basis. 16:44 He wasn't very polite and he wasn't very tolerant of 16:50 my views, he would just question me, and question me 16:54 systematically and in each discussion on spiritual things, 16:58 he would usually win and defeat 17:01 all my arguments. 17:03 So after some time studying in his studio I learned 17:07 to be quiet. 17:08 It wasn't just him being so well-versed in defeating 17:14 my views, I noticed that in that particular art studio 17:19 there was another teacher who was an ex-Catholic monk. 17:23 These people were truly in love with Jesus. 17:26 Every day they would talk about how he lived with His 17:30 disciples and about His teachings. 17:32 Slowly I started listening to their conversations. 17:36 I still wasn't interested in any religion or spiritual 17:39 matters, I just wanted to be as nature says, God is dead. 17:44 I wanted to be like in?, a person that would be a genius 17:48 in my own field, a very self fulfilled person. 17:55 Once we had a visitor, he was a Catholic theologian 17:59 student and I remember I was struggling painting some 18:03 still nature, and as I was painting I heard this young 18:08 man quoting something from the New Testament. 18:12 It was the first chapter from the book of John about 18:16 Jesus becoming flesh, the word of God. 18:21 As I was staring at his strange beaming face, 18:26 I wondered how an intelligent person can believe 18:31 in something so strange. 18:34 As I was listening to him, suddenly a very overwhelming 18:39 feeling came upon me, and for a second I surprised 18:43 myself thinking, I would like to have such a faith. 18:48 I would like to be so truly devoted to something so 18:52 noble like God. 18:55 God answered my prayer. 18:59 I started reading the New Testament, 19:01 I still didn't want to be a Christian. 19:03 I wasn't interested in Christianity to learn. 19:07 I just wanted to get a few references. 19:10 While I was reading the shortest gospel in the New Testament. 19:14 I found more and more information about Jesus. 19:19 I found that He was a strange person. 19:21 He was extremely kind, extremely helpful, worked 19:26 miracles, but what puzzles me the most is when I read 19:30 verses about Him dying on a cross. 19:35 When the captain of the Roman guard, who was standing in 19:38 front of the cross and saw everything happening. 19:41 The way Jesus died, he said with conviction, 19:45 this man was truly the Son of God. 19:48 When I read these words, suddenly something pierced 19:54 my heart, I didn't pray, no one was there with me to 19:59 instruct me, but the gift of faith, the miracle of 20:04 faith, penetrated my mind and I said together with the 20:09 Roman commander, truly this man is the Son of God. 20:15 Secretly, without anyone knowing in my heart I became 20:20 a Christian, what a miracle. 20:27 But my life didn't change, I was still a proud, 20:31 rebellious, unsanctified, prone to sin and attracted to 20:37 anything evil and interesting person. 20:40 It took three years for me to come across a friend at 20:46 my university who was a visitor from an Adventist 20:51 church to start thinking deeper and talk more about the 20:56 Christian faith. 20:58 This friend of mine spent many hours trying to talk to 21:02 me about the Bible. 21:04 It was very difficult to talk to me because I was a 21:08 person who was very much, at the time, into New Age. 21:12 I would go to different New Age sessions because I was 21:16 really interested in spiritual matters. 21:21 Anytime when I had a struggle with, either with health, 21:26 or any deeper issues, I always suffered from lack of 21:31 faith, I never had faith to pray to God. 21:34 I always thought that God would never answer my prayers 21:38 because although I believed in Him, I believed in 21:41 Jesus, I never thought Jesus would actually 21:43 answer my prayers. 21:45 Anyway I was living with a guy who was sort of a fiancé, 21:50 but it wasn't really that way. 21:53 I was a professional liar. 21:57 My parents never knew what I was doing. 22:02 I lived a double life, I was academically excellent 22:06 but in my heart was very disrespectful. 22:11 I hated drugs and alcohol, but because my boyfriend 22:16 was doing it, eventually I started doing it. 22:20 It was just a vicious circle. 22:24 So from time to time, just release our conscience, 22:29 we would together go and attend some spiritual séances 22:34 or enlightening seminars. 22:40 First of all I started meditating. 22:44 At that time I worked during the summer to earn some 22:47 money, I was a student so I started making money 22:50 as a lifeguard. 22:51 Working as a lifeguard is sometimes a bit challenging 22:55 because the weather can change and you are all the time 22:58 in wet clothes and as a girl 23:01 I just started getting sickly. 23:04 I was going to my doctor and they said to me that I had 23:10 some chronic problems and there was nothing they 23:13 could do for me. 23:15 I was quite devastated at the time and even thought 23:19 that I might have some life consequences, that I might 23:23 not be able to have children and things like that. 23:26 It was quite scary. 23:29 I remember coming from a hospital and was quite upset. 23:34 A thought came to me, why don't you pray about your 23:38 problems, why don't you talk to God? 23:40 But I couldn't talk to God, I thought I am to evil. 23:46 I am just evil, how can I pray to God? 23:49 Suddenly I dismissed that thought about prayer and as 23:54 I was walking by a newspaper shop, I was like pulled 23:58 into that shop and picked up this spiritualistic 24:03 magazine "The Third Eye". 24:06 It sounds really yucky, but I picked it and went home 24:09 and with thinking why did I buy, why do I need it? 24:13 I was drawn to it, it was just incredible. 24:17 As I was flipping the pages I came across this guy 24:21 with the turban and he was like a healer. 24:24 I decided to try it, to meditate. 24:26 I would meditate twice a day and once as I meditated, 24:32 suddenly something started happening to me. 24:36 The usual experience something like electrical currents 24:41 flowing through my limbs. 24:43 I would see different color rays of light coming out 24:46 of the picture straight onto my face and body. 24:50 Once as they stared at this picture at friends 24:55 apartment I fell into a strange trance. 24:57 I completely became possessed. 25:01 I lost my sight, I didn't have the speech power, 25:05 I couldn't see, I couldn't speak, I couldn't feel, 25:09 I was just translated into another spiritual realm. 25:14 Around me there were rings of light going up and down. 25:18 I was completely imprisoned and in my mind that was 25:23 the only little bit of me that was still me. 25:27 I was screaming in fear, and while screaming in fear 25:31 how can I be saved, relieved from this? 25:35 Suddenly a calm thought came that wasn't mine. 25:40 Only prayer to God can bring you back. 25:43 Only prayer to God can heal you from this state. 25:47 I took it seriously, I just started praying, any 25:51 prayer, any Arabic prayer I ever heard from Hail Mary, 25:57 and finally I settled on the Lord's prayer. 26:02 It was serious, I was not there anymore. 26:06 If I didn't pray that day I would have ended up in a 26:10 mental hospital and who knows maybe never recovered. 26:14 But as I prayed the Lord's prayer, it was like a 26:18 drumming on a drum. 26:19 Every word has such a meaning for me. 26:23 As I prayed, slowly my condition got better and better. 26:32 My senses returned and I recovered. 26:37 I couldn't speak for about two hours and 26:40 I couldn't walk. 26:42 Someone would think I learned a lesson through that 26:45 experience, but unfortunately I haven't. 26:48 Very soon after I was persuaded by my delightful fiancé 26:53 to go on another spiritual experience of this kind. 26:58 Again looking for a great spiritual enhancement. 27:03 We went to another session where we were supposed to 27:07 meditate, it's called like a speech meditation. 27:12 You sit in a team and have a meditational partner. 27:17 You just speak out anything that comes to your mind. 27:20 Anything, it doesn't matter how awful or how nice 27:24 or anything, you just speak it out. 27:26 After so many sessions you just change partners, 27:30 five minutes you speak, five minutes the 27:32 other person speaks. 27:34 After three days you completely freak out. 27:37 Your brain goes completely numb. 27:39 You have nothing else to think about and nothing else 27:43 to say, you become like an empty box. 27:47 The meditational question that we were meditating on 27:51 is Discover who you are, experience who you are. 27:55 We were searching for the true meaning and essence 27:59 of our own lives. 28:01 This is serious stuff, we even paid 28:03 one hundred of dollars for it. 28:06 As we meditated the third day, each of us, one after 28:12 another we started going into some sort of a trance. 28:17 Suddenly, I had this vision of myself sitting in a 28:22 Yogi position and the tree was in the same color, 28:27 and I was the same color, and suddenly I heard the 28:31 revelation of who I truly was. 28:34 It was implanted into my mind, you are who you are. 28:38 You are, I am. 28:42 Wow, I am God, that is what I heard and that is 28:50 what I experienced. 28:51 After we left that session, although we became gods, 28:56 supposedly, my boyfriend became a heroine addict. 29:00 Other people who had attended this seminar ended up 29:05 in divorces and some other strange lifestyles. 29:12 I became very deeply disturbed and depressed. 29:19 I decided to put aside all these spiritualistic nonsense 29:26 and I decided to read the Koran. 29:30 I wanted to find out the truth about God, because it 29:34 didn't seem quite true that I was God myself. 29:38 That was the time when my friend from the Uni, 29:43 who attended a Seventh-day Adventist church invited me 29:48 to meet a lady who became a Christian through a series 29:53 of dreams. 29:55 At that time I knew very little about Muslim people who 29:58 became Christians. 30:00 I didn't know that it usually takes a miraculous healing 30:06 or dreams, a miraculous God-given dreams for them to 30:12 change from their beliefs, and their faith, to a 30:17 Christian faith. 30:18 I was just intrigued, oh another person who has a 30:22 spiritual experience was going and see and hear 30:25 the lady. 30:27 I had this lightheaded attitude and there we went. 30:31 To my surprise, when this lady started talking about 30:36 her life, it turned out to be a very heartbreaking 30:40 experience, she had a very difficult life. 30:43 In many different points, because she is coming from 30:46 a Muslim background, with a similar lifestyle I could 30:49 identify myself. 30:51 I was really touched, but when she started talking 30:54 about spiritual things and how she nearly committed 30:58 suicide, how she cried to God, she was forced into, 31:01 how do you call those marriages? 31:05 Prearranged marriage, yes she was to be forced into 31:09 an arranged marriage with some Albanian guy she never 31:13 saw before. 31:15 She ran away and jumped from a second-floor apartment 31:19 and barely survived it and then ran away from home. 31:24 She was a student with no means and ended up in Germany 31:28 looking for a job. 31:30 She had a really extremely hard life. 31:32 She was sleeping on the streets in a park. 31:36 A well educated, very nice young woman, but destitute. 31:41 As she cried to God, after thinking about committing 31:46 suicide, the Lord gave her a series of dreams in which 31:50 she saw Jesus revealing Himself to her as the way, 31:55 the truth, and the life. 31:56 Then she had another dream where God pointed to her, 32:00 she needed to go and find the holy Scriptures. 32:02 She did know about the Bible and the holy Scriptures 32:04 were the same thing. 32:06 This is how us Muslim people can sometimes 32:08 be quite duff. 32:11 Then the third thing she also dreamt was about God saying 32:15 to her that she needs to be baptized, she was 32:18 nearly killed in a dream, literally suffocated. 32:22 Then she had another dream where God revealed her 32:26 that she needs to find a church that keeps the Sabbath 32:30 holy, and that was really difficult thing to do. 32:34 You try going around your city looking for a church 32:37 that keeps the Sabbath holy. 32:39 Quite a tedious task. 32:42 So after I heard all these testimonies, I was really 32:49 shocked, then she didn't stop. 32:52 It was about four hour encounter. 32:54 She told us about some basic Bible doctrines. 32:58 She told about falling into sin, about how Jesus 33:03 is the only one who can save us, the state of dead, 33:08 I think I had about five Bible studies that evening. 33:13 It was so overwhelming, I didn't like the things that 33:18 she was saying, some of them I actually hated. 33:21 I really didn't like them, would you like to be told 33:25 that all your family, all your faith group, 33:28 is just doomed? 33:30 You don't know your Savior, you don't know God, 33:33 your sins are not forgiven, would you like that? 33:37 I didn't, but nevertheless, in my mind as she was 33:41 speaking very kindly, very convinced, the Holy Spirit 33:46 was flashing all the time. 33:49 Everything this woman is saying, no matter how much 33:51 you hate it, it is true. 33:54 I was convinced that she was saying truth regardless 34:00 of how I felt about it. 34:03 We departed and she gave us a kiss and said she would 34:06 pray for us that at least one of those three would be 34:09 saved, that was a really hard thing to say. 34:14 It made me cry, no one ever prayed for me. 34:19 She said she would pray one of us get saved. 34:25 After I left, I was so touched, I was so perplexed, 34:33 I just wanted to see God Himself. 34:36 I went home praying and that day I got so sick I 34:40 couldn't breathe. 34:42 I asked my boyfriend to find a Bible in the house and 34:45 he got a very thick one. 34:47 It wasn't a proper Bible, but I shoved it under my 34:51 pillow and I prayed and said, God don't let me die. 34:55 At least I want to know who You are. 34:58 After that day, I survived obviously. 35:01 From that day onwards, 35:04 I prayed everyday, Lord 35:06 reveal Yourself to me. 35:09 You worked a miracle for that woman, You have to work 35:13 a miracle for me. 35:15 I can't go to my family, I can't go to my friends 35:18 saying I believe because someone else told me. 35:21 I need to know it for myself from You. 35:25 I've already chose the wrong boyfriend, I thought I 35:28 had great taste, but I always chose the wrong one. 35:32 I came to the point to realize that I can't really 35:37 trust my ability to make a good choice. 35:40 I tried just choose my spirituality, I always made the 35:45 wrong choice, so I just put it back to God. 35:48 I sit if You really exist, You have to make a choice 35:53 for me, and You have to make that choice clear. 35:56 I have to know who You are, Mohammed's, 35:58 God of Muhammad, who denies the divinity of Jesus? 36:03 Or are You Jesus, God. 36:07 Is the Bible the true way I should follow? 36:09 Or the Koran? 36:11 As the result of this simple, simple prayer remember 36:16 I am still living with the boyfriend. 36:18 I am not a very good girl, but I am praying to God. 36:24 God answers the prayer. 36:27 One night suddenly I had this strange dream. 36:32 In the darkness I was just perplexed, what is life 36:36 about? Constant meaning of what is life about? 36:41 What is my life about? 36:42 Do I have a purpose in life? 36:44 Suddenly I can see a little speck of light and that 36:48 spec of light is coming closer and closer. 36:50 Suddenly it becomes a huge covering city, beautiful, 36:56 shining, Golden Fortress. 37:01 Then the Fortress opens up and the light beam is even 37:06 brighter and somewhere in the middle of that light, 37:11 right in front of me is a simple pulpit. 37:14 Just like this one, simple one. 37:16 There was a book on top of the pulpit, on top of the 37:22 stand and I hear a voice go and read it is for your 37:28 salvation. 37:29 The voice did not order, it did not beg, it just told 37:34 me what to do. 37:36 I came closer, and I looked at the pages. 37:40 It wasn't Koran, it wasn't anything else, 37:44 it was the Bible. 37:46 As I looked at its open pages of the Bible, every 37:51 letter was shining like gold, like precious gold 37:56 gleaming, beaming as if it was alive. 37:58 I tried to read, it surrounded me, I can't tell you 38:03 what book it was, I have no idea which page it was. 38:07 As I tried to read my eyes started to water. 38:11 I became annoyed, strangely annoyed in the presence of 38:18 God revealing His truth, His way, I became annoyed. 38:24 I said Jesus, why do I have to read this book? 38:28 Can't it be just between me and You? 38:31 I would serve You, I can see You are God. 38:34 But no, I had to read. 38:37 As an answer to my question the Lord gave me another 38:41 vision, suddenly I just, because I believe that if 38:46 God just cleanses my soul from all my sins, that will be it. 38:51 I eternally His and that is just it. 38:55 God gave me a second vision. 38:58 The vision was who truly I was. 39:02 What I saw is difficult to explain. 39:07 I saw a black hole with no life, with no light, 39:14 with no feelings, I saw death. 39:19 How do you explain eternal death? 39:24 You just scream, so I screamed. 39:29 I woke up, I screamed and I realized that what Jesus 39:36 said, let dead people bury their dead, you can be alive 39:41 you can love, you can go into motions but you can be 39:46 spiritually dead, and I was that person. 39:50 I was spiritually dead. 39:51 That was the night when I surrendered my life to Jesus. 39:56 That was the night when I figured out that only through 40:01 reading the Bible, trusting His word, 40:05 that life will remain in me. 40:13 This is when my parents slowly started finding some 40:22 changes in me. 40:24 From a very rebellious young person I became a very 40:30 willing person because God loved me, I became a 40:36 loving person. 40:38 Because God forgave me, I became a forgiving person. 40:43 My parents saw the difference and they noticed my 40:47 interest in Christianity my reading the Bible. 40:51 It takes some time for my father to corner me and to 40:57 challenge me on my faith. 41:05 Ever since I left home, it has been 15 years of 41:11 separation, the words my father said, I will never 41:16 come back to my family house, came true. 41:20 Not exactly that day because as a result of God's 41:26 great patience with my parents, I kept returning home 41:31 every time they expelled me, or kicked me out. 41:34 I kept praying for them and claiming God's promises. 41:38 After that crucial Sabbath morning when the angels 41:42 stopped my father fist in the air, I managed to stay 41:46 another full year and a half in my family. 41:49 I was really stubbornly Christian. 41:56 They tried to bribe me, they tried to marry me, 42:01 they tried to, I don't know. 42:03 My mom would plead, she would speak such soft words 42:07 to try and melt me down. 42:10 She would say how can you trust those people in the 42:14 church, I'm your mother, I love you and gave you life. 42:18 Wouldn't you just be my daughter and not trust them? 42:22 Despite all these sweet words, I always cried and said 42:27 mommy I love you, I know this is difficult for you to 42:31 understand, but I can't dishonor God. 42:35 This is about God, it is not about you, you are my mom 42:40 but I can't dishonor God. 42:42 So eventually my parents gave me ultimatum to choose the 42:48 Christian faith or the Muslim faith and as a result of 42:51 my choice, or shall I say as a result of that choice of 42:56 my parents, I was expelled from the family and there 42:59 has been many years of painful separation from my 43:03 parents and my younger brothers. 43:05 But despite all the hardship it has been an honor to 43:10 suffer persecution for Christ in His great mercy God 43:15 has provided me with many family members in 43:18 the Christian faith, a hundredfold of blessings. 43:25 I will close now. 43:30 In 1997 I studied theology at the Croatia SDA Seminary 43:34 and met many ministerial students who came to preach 43:39 evangelistic series. 43:41 That was my future husband, Alan. 43:45 After knowing him for only one week, he proposed in a 43:50 very bold and strange manner. 43:56 We became friends, the first week he ignored me. 43:58 Actually I just wanted to be friendly and said hello. 44:03 But he never replied, three times. 44:07 Be aware of Englishmen! 44:12 I think you Americans are a little more friendly. 44:16 But then something happened and I had a phone call 44:23 from my ex-fiancé who was well on as a heroin addict. 44:27 Who is actually pleading on the phone with me to come 44:32 and nurse him to his health and he was pleading to leave 44:37 and come and basically marry him. 44:44 It was really hard, I really wanted the best for him. 44:49 And I really love that man, but I made my decision to 44:54 move away from that relationship because it wasn't the 44:59 relationship that God wanted for me to be in. 45:03 There was Alan there as the only person I could pray 45:07 with and as we prayed the Lord that day just broke all 45:11 the chains of my emotional slavery to my past life. 45:16 You see sometimes we can be converted people, 45:19 but we can still be chained with our past. 45:22 You understand what I'm talking about? 45:25 That day the Lord just released me from all that 45:29 emotional baggage and five days later I was proposed 45:34 to, shockingly I thought my husband Alan was either 45:40 terribly desperate, imbalanced, or truly spiritual 45:46 and serious Guy. 45:47 He said we would be good missionary team and I love 45:53 that so I said to him I like you but for anything else 45:58 let's go on our knees and pray. 46:01 The next morning another miracle was done and I really 46:06 felt warmth towards him. 46:08 He left three months later, we were courting through 46:13 Internet e-mails at the time. 46:17 The Lord provided the money for expensive telephone 46:20 calls, I was usually cleaning the church, I was 46:24 teaching as well, so little meager income provided 46:27 the money for the telephone calls. 46:30 Eventually after six months of our courtship we got 46:34 married, ever since we have been blessed. 46:37 Why I am saying this as a sort of a closing, you see being 46:43 persecuted for Christ's sake is a true honor. 46:47 Not many people are, all of us are called to serve and 46:51 to witness for Christ, but some of us will be called. 46:55 This is a calling to go an extra mile. 47:05 Although my parents still do not want to have any contact 47:09 with me or their grandchildren, my husband and I 47:12 continue to pray trusting God's saving grace. 47:16 In my parents eyes I have brought shame to my family, 47:22 but in the eyes of Jesus I'm His witness and 47:25 His shiny beacon. 47:28 It is never time to give in and dishonor God, no matter 47:34 who is begging you to do so. 47:37 Some sacrifices might look impossible to bear, but we 47:43 should remember that it is not our calling to calculate 47:48 the costs, all we have to worry about is to have our 47:53 eyes fixed on the shining face of our loving Savior, 47:58 Jesus Christ. 48:00 I am a miracle of Jesus. 48:03 It's not the miracles that God performs, 48:09 it is the miracles of who we are. 48:14 You are miracle of Jesus, you are miracle of Jesus. 48:22 You are miracle Jesus. 48:27 It is not walking on the water that makes a miracle 48:34 a miracle, it's being faithful to God, keeping His 48:41 commandments, being faithful in small things. 48:45 I would like to make a very short and simple appeal 48:49 in this big crowd of people there are some people among 48:53 you who have been called to suffer for Christ. 49:00 In a very difficult way, some among you who have been 49:06 persecuted and who have experienced severe hardship. 49:15 Could you stand with me please! Could you stand with me please? 49:33 Don't be ashamed, it's a great thing to suffer for 49:37 our Christ Jesus. 49:39 Not all of us have to go through terrible things, 49:42 but some of us are called. 49:53 I will pray and call for a blessing, especially upon 49:56 you, but God will anoint you for your ministry and 50:00 service for His namesake. 50:03 Do not be ashamed, let's pray! 50:08 Please bow your heads, our great and merciful God. 50:13 Dear Jesus you suffered for us so immensely and 50:18 terribly, we can never comprehend what You left to save 50:24 us, and Lord Jesus, in this hall we have people who are 50:29 standing because they are persecuted for Your namesake. 50:35 Lord we are all sinners, we make mistakes, 50:39 we make people mad, we step on people's toes, 50:44 but these people are persecuted because 50:48 of Your namesake. 50:50 In their families, their workplace, the places where 50:53 they minister and are missionaries, I pray for special 50:56 anointing of strength. 51:01 Lord anointed me too, anoint us and we pray especially 51:06 for our families, for those who do not understand why we are 51:12 so strange, why we are so different. 51:17 And Lord may Your blessing reach all the people in our 51:22 families that need to be saved. 51:24 All of our friends and colleagues, in Your glorious 51:27 name we pray and thank you Amen! |
Revised 2014-12-17